Gravity is one very selfish lover
The speed required to break free of the past
At times you need to accelerate at an Escape Velocity in an effort to break free of what ails you, be it the clutches of depression or emotional regression. Escape you must, from endlessly having to battle the demons of insatiability in a losing effort to suppress the ugliness of your broken childhood vulnerabilities.
Now the adult voices, both external and internal are tirelessly blaming and shaming you for your inability to just move on, just get over it, easy they say, just get the invisible chip off your shoulder. A chip I might add that was never of your doing, a chip more resembling a multi-decade old log that has been growing for as long as your cognitive childhood memories took their first breath.
Escape Velocity, the speed required to break free of the past. Scientifically, Escape Velocity is the speed required to break free of the Earth’s gravity. Why would you want to do that, when the selfishness of gravity is the only thing keeping you grounded. Gravity is one very selfish lover and you could use a version of gravity in your life about now. They all should understand why you so cherish the value of being selfishly grounded, even when knowing your life would be better served with the peacefulness that comes from your Escape Velocity being used to break free of the past.
Society has created so many wonderfully cute lines of motivational crap, all in an effort to keep us tethered to the past. “Be all you can be.” What the fuck does that really mean? Do you really think people want to be less than themselves on purpose? “If I can do it then anybody can.” Another bullshit line of stupid combinations of words put together to make your feel worse than you already do. What in God’s name would make you feel that your success is the key to anybody’s success? More appropriate would be to say, “while I did not think I could make it, I pray my success would help you to reconsider your possibilities.” Wordy, yes but a damn lot more sensible than ‘If I can, then anybody can.”
As time moves on and aging becomes my inheritance, I have a much better understanding of why wisdom, it is said, comes with age. Also with age comes the clarity as to why those having grown in age show far less patience for the accolades of bullshit and or false praises. When I was younger I was constantly being reminded to use my inside voice to express my outside thoughts. Now older and a bit wiser I better understand the value of using my outside voice while expressing my inside thoughts. I understand the actual meaning of an elderly person’s response when calmly saying, “I guess you done lost your damn mind.”
Again and as we age, we are far more at ease to accept changes in our external relationships. Many if not most internal relationships, i.e., marriages, siblings or extended family dynamics are equally impacted by aging and even more so upon the realization of the value of one’s Escape Velocity. The very Escape Velocity that at times, wrongly so, is mistaken as, “you seem to be losing patience” or “you are always so very quiet these days” along with any combinations of sayings, all having missed the reality of one’s coming of age. A coming of age that will be the new mirror never again to reflect what they want to see in it, but instead what it now projects from within, signalling that things will never again be the way there were.
When I was a younger man’s child I viewed the process of aging as an oppressive transition. Despite being clearly visible, with each passing day I felt we were transitionally paralyzed, having only to accept the sentencing of agism like a slow oncoming train, our youthfulness being chained to its tracks. Now, with the actuality of the train’s imminent arrival, so too is the wisdom of our Escape Velocity, effectively untying us from the tracks of inevitably.
We become owners of our Escape Velocity only when upon the realization that aging frees us from the shackles of societal bondage. It frees us from the expectations of
HIGH TEA BEHAVIOUR.
It frees us from the dampen unyielding treachery of the darkened woods and releases us into the welcoming arms of the warm, sunlight of the open meadows where we can finally say, “I guess you done lost your dam mind”
© Anthony Cloe Huie 2022