Even the Winking Stars

Find your joy
they say…
well I found her
and she went away
now I’m unsure
about everything,
the dripping sun,
the shy moon,
even the winking stars
only make me sneer
at the word ‘wishes’
as I make a thousand
I know will never fly
lying upon the broken wisps
of their still warm corpses
feeling nothing
but contempt
for my defective nature
and wondering if
God just hates me.