I saw a video of a robot today. It was shaped like an animal and could run and jump and catch, and hold things with an extra arm that popped out of its back. I had to post it online for all my friends to see with a caption saying, “robots will take over someday.” There was another video, yesterday, of a computer program. It could read a book in under a millisecond and then tell you whether it would be a best-seller. Of course, I had to post it to let people know that, without a doubt, “robots are going to take over.”
It seems like every day I learn of some machine that outperforms people or does something astonishing. Unbelievable things, like 3D printers that can print a house. Every day, I have to post something about some robot and say, “when will they take over the world? Soon, I bet.”
Not everything I see is about doomsday, though. And that’s nice.
There was a video of a monkey I saw. In it, he wore a silly dress and danced around. It was funny. I didn’t mind posting that online, telling everyone, “see, things are fine.”
There have been plenty of videos like that. Instances of people playing and laughing and helping, and doing amazing things that would blow anyone’s mind.
And I post them. All of them.
I try to stay thankful, tagging, “thank goodness everything is fine.”
Not once have I seen a robot push a human aside and tell them, “don’t worry, I’ve got things from here.” How shocking would that be? Scary even. If I saw something like that happen, I’m sure I would post about it. Warning everyone, “Oh no, the robots are here! Here for our jobs, and our livelihoods, here to make their hostile takeover! It’s underway! We have to do something! Now!”
Yep. That’s what I would post.
In fact, I’d post something like it every day. “We have to watch out, or they’ll get the better of us, dupe us in some way. Mark my words! They’ll be so strong, we’ll be like stupid prey!”
Oh, I’d hope people would see that post. So they could join my movement.
And we’d all post things more and more about all the wild ways they’ll take us over. How they’d attack us and murder us, destroy us! Maybe they’d even go so far as to make us slaves?
Our hands would be tied, we’d have to post something about that! All of us!
That would show the robots who’s boss! There’s nothing they’d be able to do! We’d all post about our success and victory against the coup du monde we’d managed to stop.
Then I could monetize it somehow.
Wouldn’t that be nice? Having a job like that. Lying around, finding videos and pictures of things I like, and posting them online for everyone to see and to like and share and make little comments on. They would say, “good for you, showing those machines who’s boss.”
I’d work for me, not for anyone else. No person telling me what to do every day. No person notifying me to turn things in on time. No person controlling my life.
Nope, it would just be me. Me online, posting day in and out. I’d even find a website that lets me know what to write. My phone would give me a friendly beep now and again to graciously let me know when it’s the best time to post. I’d be so free! Wouldn’t that be nice?
If I saw a video of a robot then… Well, then I might not even post it. Why would I? Even if it was some algorithm or a.i. With ill intent. Hell-bent on enslaving us twice-over. Nope! I would just do my job and post my funny memes, and say, “thank goodness the robots haven’t taken over today.”
Originally published at https://www.daytondoesstuff.com on June 14, 2019.