In Simple Words
I made a list of things
that bring me joy.
You are at the top:
the way you smile,
the sound of your voice,
the way a word from you
causes me to smile incessantly,
the thought of kissing you,
things we’ve said to each other,
how you wanted me
pressed against you,
wrapped around you,
warm inside you,
secrets only we share,
your laugh, your sigh,
the way your mind works,
and all the wishes I’ve made
since knowing you.
I made a list of things
that break my heart.
You are at the top:
your decisions,
your silence,
the way you refuse to discuss us,
the sound of your voice,
the way a word from you
tears me apart inside,
not being able to kiss you,
your pieces no longer shared with me,
how you suddenly changed,
didn’t want me,
wouldn’t say why
(though I knew it was him),
the things we’ve said to each other,
the way you see me now,
the way your mind works,
and all the wishes I’ve made
that won’t come true.
You are the most present thought in my mind,
a ghost that haunts me,
a vision that thrills me,
the Yin and Yang of my heart,
darkness and light,
pushing, pulling, spinning.
You’re so deep under my skin,
and I don’t know how or why
I can’t stop wanting you.
I know I should, but
I would give up everything
just to be under yours.
This has to end.
