Indecisions
The skies were as indecisive as she was, partly storm clouds and letting the sun peek through in bright patches. With a heavy sigh she lifted her hair atop her head, hoping the still thick air will cool off her neck. She believes in fate, but wonders if it is a mistake.
What am I going to do?
Her mind raced a million thoughts all at once, and contorted her face into a grimace. The sound of birds singing and trees sighing didn’t calm her, no matter how hard she hugged the oak tree. Feet bare, ankle deep in moss and fern, she had hoped to find some inner peace to sort through this mess, but it doesn’t seem to be working.
Is this a huge mistake?
You see she has so many questions, none of which have clear answers. She is frozen in place from making a decision because she is waiting on someone else. Why not take the leap, see where it leads? Why try, it could just lead to disappointment. She has analyzed herself into paralyzing fear, second guessing her motives and what she wants. She thought she knew, clearly, and then when she is stabilizing into a process of hope, it shatters. Patience, she just needs patience; from herself and others.
What if it doesn’t work out?
She thinks that maybe, just maybe, she should not rock the boat, stay how it is. She knows all those motivational posts about how the thing you’re supposed to be doing will scare you, all that stuff about getting out of your comfort zone to embrace your higher purpose. How do you know that’s not just shit? She is strong, she knows this; resilient and smart, bred with a certain perseverance and tenacity. She isn’t worried about physically surviving, just…who knows.
