Nothing Less

Summer 2016 Golden Gate Bridge Photo Credit Angiest Granheim

Well I guess you got the last laugh
And I see that our history is just that
The tunes you now blast are not those that remind you of me
You never send me any new shit anymore. 
I just replay the old on my iTunes, my Tidal, my Spotify Songs about D Playlist.

I don’t even know anymore where you gather
Some days I feel so alone nothing seems to matter
Where I am going doesn’t seem to make sense to me
But my goal is still to bring kindness, do good, pay it forward
No more drama, no more madness.

I devote my words to you
I’m the fool 
Your ropes I hop as I punch these keys 
with rhymes that belong to you
Words that describe how I feel about the silence
Love me, then leave me the fuck alone
Truly blessed with your friendship
and then left with so much less than that.

I’m nothing less than a enemy
in your mind
in mine you were a friend to me.
My minimal mistakes were more than you could handle
the ghost of you haunts me every day
every night 
under the starlight 
sex with strangers 
lit candles
None of it you.

Most days I feel like Slug
and you’re the Living Legend.
I just try to keep breathing
keep finding myself in the hidden pockets of pain and silence
keep smiling 
some days genuine, some days fake as fuck.

You set a standard for friendship when you came along
and now all that I can remember is your face, crooked smile, 
your mad love for your favorite Living Legends song.

Maybe someday someone will come along and replace you,
I doubt it. 
That’s why it’s so hard to accept this loss, this silence, this ghosting that you have so well accomplished. 
I have a hard time accepting anything but friendship from you
that is simply all that I want.
Nothing more
and Nothing Less.