Vampire Neighbors
Once upon a time in a neighborhood far far around the corner, lived a block of Vampires. They were over three hundred years old!
STOP! STOP! I cannot let you continue with untrue facts, said Grandpa Vamp.
Grandpa Vamp! I thought you said you would let me tell this story.
Tell it yes! Murder it, NO! We are over three hundred thousand years old!
My apologies Grandpa Vamp. Now, may I continue?
Nod.
As I was saying, I live on the block where vampires had lived for three hundred-thousand-years. The neighborhood is safe as long as you come in before dark, because when they fly, lives will be lost, blood will be spilled, and people will vanish!
Grandpa Vamp has his hand up. Yes, Grandpa Vamp? Did I again misspeak?
Well my child. We do not hunt people anymore and you know this, but you attempt to make us out to be dangerous to the neighborhood where just last week we all did a midnight potluck together and everyone went home safe and sound and stuffed! No one sucked anyone’s blood, and no one disappeared. Do not spread fear.
Author sigh. My apologies, but I am trying to spin a tale. You know Grandpa Vamp, something spooky.
Oh! My child I thought you were writing nonfiction, not fiction. Well then, carry on and I will go nap. It is tiring being this old.
*Grandpa Vamp climbs into coffin, closes lid, and snores*
Second try, deep sigh.
Once upon a time, there was a neighborhood filled with Vampires who hunted at night, but slept by day and left the neighborhood alone. At night, you needed to have your kids in, for at dusk the vampires rose hungry and would hunt small children and animals. At dusk was when the world changed from safe to savage. At dusk, you locked your doors!
It used to be a quiet neighborhood, but slowly the night-people moved in. We did not realize they were vampires at first, but we noticed during the light hours, the entire block was silent. No music. No cars at all. They were the perfect neighbors until the first animal went missing. It was Ms. Lawson’s pit bull terrier. She had Amelia for years and loved that dog, but she could no longer walk it and only let it out into the fenced backyard to do its business. One-night Ms. Lawson fell asleep and Amelia slept out back in her doghouse, but when Ms. Lawson called her in the morning, Amelia was gone. Of course, the neighborhood went in search of her, but nothing remained. Someone found blood in the doghouse, but no one told her that. We all collectedly believed the new neighbors had something to do with it, but we were not sure.
All small children needed to be in early for supper. The sun remained high as they ate, and the kids wanted to go back out after dinner. Sometimes their whining was too much, so a mom or two would let them out, that was up until Jamie went missing. Jamie wanted to ride her bike. She did not know about staying out of the block behind their house. She rode around and around the block. At 7 pm, it was getting dark and Jamie’s mom called for her. She was never found, but her bike was covered in human’s blood. The seat dripped Jamie’s blood, the handlebars were bent, and it looked like human flesh was hanging on them. One of the neighbors hid the bike in the neighborhood lake and no one told her mother what they thought had happened.
More often than not, strange things kept happening. It appeared the vampires were blood-thirsty and they would eat the neighborhood block by block. A neighborhood watch was needed. A call was to be called out if one of the blood thirsty murdering vampires were seen. We needed to protect our young, our animals, our vulnerable people. Who knew where they would stop? Perhaps they were planning on eating their way through more and more neighborhoods. They needed to be stopped!
We gathered at a neighbor’s home and thought of ways to end the slaughter. We needed wood stakes, people brave enough to put it through their hearts, and lots and lots of garlic. We could try cutting off their heads or perhaps shooting them with a sacred bullet. YES! That could work as they did not have to be close to do so. Can you get bullets blessed by a priest? Everyone shook their heads, not knowing.
Supplies were gathered. Rope, garlic, bullets, guns, crosses, holy water, and wooden spikes. The decision was going to have to be made of who was going to attempt this because if they failed, they surely would die. With so many vampires residing on the road behind us, everyone without kids volunteered to kill one vampire.
Yawn, from Grandpa Vamp, and then he reads to catch up what he missed.
Listen my child, you need to quit this child-like tale spinning. NONE of this happened.
Author’s hands raised in admission of defeat. Okay Grandpa Vamp you tell the story and I will go nap.
Grandpa Vamp’s recollection of the tale.
Once upon a time in a time long ago, so last week, us Vampires went into the street to introduce ourselves. We are a pale bunch and look a bit frightening, but our intentions were to eat, and we had been invited to a neighbor’s house for a housewarming. We brought food with us to share that may have looked like animal remains but was indeed Aunt Bessie’s veal Parmesan. Shhh don’t tell Aunt Bessie I said that! She will have my head cut off.
Okay where was I, yes you lose your train of thought when you are so old. Oh yes so we saw a dog and said hello to it, but for some reason it was spooked by us and ventured off down the road sprinting for its life. We looked behind it and no one was chasing it. We did not know it belonged to anyone and we went to eat dinner at our new friends’.
There were kids playing in the neighborhood and they seemed happy. Our own child went to join in and screaming was heard, the gate opened and closed and all thought it was normal neighbor games. We did not eat a child or a dog. We tried to make friends and enjoy a quiet meal with our new neighbor.
As for the potluck at midnight, none of our new neighbors showed up until hours later. They came with guns and swords, though where someone finds a sword these days, no one knows. They had garlic around their necks and holy water in tiny glass tubes. All the vampires has a good laugh at this. We had prepared an entire block of tables and chairs and food for the neighbors, but for some reason they saw the food, saw us, dropped everything they carried and ran off screaming into the night. We all found it incredibly rude and unforgiving. We have not stepped foot on that block again.
Author Note: Currently the vampires and neighbors are living on their own block. No one is talking to each other and tensions are high. The neighbors are gathering more garlic and the vampires are enjoying their peace. They know that this town like all the others they have resided in will try to push them out, but they like do believe that peace and harmony are possible.
Grandpa Vamp note: The author thinks she is amazing, but she had garlic too!
Author and Grandpa Vamp: Thank you for reading our disjointed tale.
© Debbie Aruta 2019
