Saved
I don’t want to box myself in
But I don’t really know what I’m doing
I’m trying to find a place I belong,
I’m trying to find myself,
but I’m getting it all wrong.
The two seem to cancel each other out.
If I find where I belong, will I lose myself ?
If I find myself, will I belong ?
I’m tired.
I look to the spectrum of life
To see which part I fall within
I try to catch a wave, hop onto their frequency
But I’m pitchy and I’m frequently reminded
that I don’t belong on that wavelength.
My light is nowhere to be found,
I’ve pressed play but there’s no sound
I am left invisible.
I narrow my search, looking to my diaspora,
United by our struggle,
I’m sure there is a place for me, I’m sure I’ll be found.
But as I look around at the different faces,
shapes, shades, vibrance,
irrefutable candescence,
I remain unable to assimilate
So I migrate, into isolation
I am now isolated.
Isolation seems to be a place where I belong,
but I can sense that it is temporary.
The urge to locate my place remains,
leaving me burdened with inner pains.
The pain becomes too much, I’m hidden
and no one is counting in anticipation
of finding me.
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10… it never ends…
“I’m ready please come find me…please”
I fall down to my knees, pleading.
It’s like gravity brought me down
allowing space for the omnibenevolent
to overwhelm and comfort me whilst my heart cried.
My tears were like magnets pulling me down,
I obeyed and placed my head to the ground.
My heart did all the work
It opened up and broke to pieces,
Allowing the peace within me,
to finally break free.
My roots replanted
realigning me on my designated route,
and whilst I still didn’t know my place
I understood that I had been masterfully placed.
So rather than seeking to belong,
I simply sought my placers face.
~T
