I have never sobbed.
I’ve cried, I’ve wept,
Wailed and whimpered,
Fat, hot tears have trammeled down
my cheeks.
But sobbing is beyond me.
The uncontrolled rhythm,
The long draw to a silent gasp
of pain,
Raw, unquenchable pain.
I’ve had sob-inducing moments,
I believe.
Would life be worth living otherwise?
Ying to ecstasy’s Yang.
Have I known ecstasy?
It’s safe in my sobless heart.
My trapeze heart,
Swinging between high-bars,
A glamorous, riskless illusion,
Back-and-forth, back-and-forth.
Will I ever let go?
Not knowing if there’s
a net below,
Not caring if there’s a
net below.
Unlikely!
Why would I?
I can cannibalize emotion,
In a song, a cause, a loved one,
When I need a hit
of real life.
It’s safe here.
So blessed.
Sobless.
©Nazneen Rahman 2019
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