What was will come again…

Photo by me. Debbie Aruta

What was, will come…

Lightness laying on my eyelids, 
 fluttering open, sun shining only on the outside.
 Alarmed at my despair and self-deprivation.

Lunging my soul into quenching quietness,
 Scrounging, scavenging, and scared, 
 I ravage my vanity, toothbrush in hand,
 I run!

Disheartened at my yesterdays,
 abandoning my existence,
 standing, gazing at the glass in disbelief.
 Disheveled piles of skin and bones left
 for Death’s workman to gather.

Ruining my life, my past frozen to memory,
 my spirit gone, my happiness fleeting, 
 meaningful minutes sparsely appear anymore,
 yearning to be whole, to be light, 
 to lose the pain as I go forward into agony.

Careening off my path, pounding into walls,
 corroding blood, veins collapsing, 
 delving to deep despair,
 living beyond any space of hope and repair,
 throwing lies like knives , I die a little bit more.

What was to come has.
 What is is now upon me.
 Laying down, the end now here,
 letting go of my toothbrush,
 No need for it now. I am overcome.