Adverse Writing Conditions
It was raining heavily for most of the morning across London yesterday. I was visiting a client at Ealing Studios in West London and changed tubes at Oxford Circus to catch the Central Line out to Ealing Broadway.
On many of the busier tube stations — usually interchanges such us this — TfL (Transport for London) has a man or woman on the platform announcing the destination of the next train and encouraging us to stay safe. “Stay behind the yellow line while the train is approaching.” That sort of thing.
My platform for westbound trains from Oxford Circus was no exception. Our man was a cheerful guy, full of energy as he walked back and forward along the edge of the platform. He bounced on the balls of his feet. There was an energy to his voice, too, as he announced the destination of each train. The Central Line splits and only every third train or so will go all the way to Ealing Broadway.
The fact that electronic boards display the destination of the next three trains does not detract from the personal touch. It suggests TfL cares.
Above us, London was being drenched by a late spring downpour. Very late. It was the last day of May and sunshine was the expected reward at this time of year.
The rain was obviously a cause for concern for TfL and, by extension, our cheerful and energetic platform announcer. So, as he announced the arrival of trains he added some advice. He said, “Please be careful walking along the platform and getting on and off trains. It may be slippery.” So far, so good. The he added, “Thanks to adverse weather conditions.”
This phrase — adverse weather conditions — is used not just by TfL and its personnel but on transport networks elsewhere. Imagine yourself arriving to meet friends in the pub. You push through the doors and your mates turn to look at you. It has been raining outside and you came without an umbrella. “You’re drenched,” says one of your friends. (The one that always states the obvious and makes you wonder how you have remained friends so long.) “Yes,” you say. “There were adverse weather conditions.” Really? No. You say, in real life, “Yes, it’s pissing down outside.”
Now I don’t expect TfL to advise their personnel to get quite so colloquial. On the other hand, the simple use of terms like, ‘pouring rain’ or ‘very wet’ might make them sound like we were all talking the same language. But I think that’s the point. They don’t want to speak our language. Not with their official head on.
It’s something that occurs throughout what might be termed official or business language. It’s not even as blatant as jargon: it is the striving to sound slightly superior, as if using clumsy phrases that sound more like euphemisms than descriptions is the way to signal both educational and experiential one-upmanship. It is about control and domination. ‘You people are mere plebs and I may be forced to give you information but I want to make sure you know who is in charge here.’
The other side of this rather sad equation is the fact that this enforced artificial language inhibits those who might want to communicate from doing so. When the words you might be expected to use in business communication are so remote from the way you talk normally or share information with colleagues in conversation, it is only to be expected that blocks appear. What might be termed adverse writing conditions, if we didn’t know better.
In businesses across the land there are people struggling to write stuff in a language that is both dull and impenetrable because that is what they believe business writing is meant to sound like. And this is aimed at an audience that only wants information that is easy to digest and is, well, informative.
Many businesses now do get it right. They tend, for the most part, to be young businesses that need to get their story across clearly and concisely. Mature businesses, on the other hand, seem to feel that only by making their written communication sound like a 1950s manual for an early television set that has been translated into a rarely heard indigenous Amazonian language and then back again can they convey the depth of their seriousness and the worth of their products and services.
I may be exaggerating. But if safety depends on people taking care because it has been raining — and you feel necessary to alert people to that fact — at least have the courtesy to talk to them in a language they understand.
