My 95 year old grandmother describes labor

My grandmother is a funny lady. Every time I see her I’m in tears with laughter. And although her memory isn’t what it was ten years ago, she still remembers labor — she had three children, naturally, without an epidural.

I was in California last week to tell my family about my news. My aunt was also at my grandmother’s house. She told my grandmother about the pending birth and she smiled with glee, “A baby!”, she said. In 30 years, I never knew how much she loved babies. She never mentioned babies to me, nor did she pressure me into having children. She was much more involved in my education, making sure that I finished university and got good grades. Though, she did want me to become a teacher or government employee — for the benefits — so I suppose I’ve disappointed a bit on that front.

My aunt then asked her about labor. She asked if she remembered having three children.

“It’s all about visualization. You need to visualize that you’re floating down the Mississippi River. You need to see the clouds pass, look at the trees, feel as if you’re floating down the river. And then BANG! You hit a rock!”

She clapped her hands together to emphasize her point.

“But, y0u get a baby!”

She then turned to my aunt and asked what they were giving me for my baby shower. I haven’t seen my grandmother this happy in years. So I suppose, if she did it three times, I can do it once (and only once …). I just hope there aren’t too many rocks.