Emails From A Comic Book Store To A Bookstore With A Comic Book Section

08/16 4:04 PM

So you have a graphic novel section now. Hope you don’t drive me out of business :)

09/21 2:11 PM

You’ve expanded beyond the Big Two! That’s cool. (Traditionally, you would not put the manga with the superhero comics but rather give them their own shelf.) Maybe you guys should focus more on the indie stuff and leave the cliché cape and mutant side to me?

10/19 9:04 AM

Wow. That’s a lot of Image. You know, Image was founded by artists who left Marvel to form their own company. So that falls more into the traditional publishing arena, don’t you think?

11/05 1:08 PM

How many copies of V for Vendetta do you think you need? Because I have 30.

01/07 10:49 AM

You hired Byron, huh. If you had called me and asked for a reference (like I would have in the reverse situation), I might have told you that he sometimes comes across as a bit rude. But he does know comic books. That would explain your new Will Eisner subsection.

02/11 12:33 PM

How would you like it if I started selling Hemingway and Faulkner and Harry Potter? Okay, sure, I do have a few book books but they’re all comic book movie novelizations. BECAUSE I STAY IN MY LANE!!!

03/17 8:49 AM

So books and magazines and candles and greeting cards and coffee weren’t enough. How greedy are you people? Frankly, you can stock your shelves full of anything you, or Byron, the traitor, can look up on Wikipedia, but I’ve been in this business for 15 years, and I know the names of all the Robins. Even Stephanie Brown.

05/05 7:49 AM

Come on. Having discounts on Free Comic Book Day is just plain spiteful. Notice how Diamond refused to give you any special F.C.B.D. issues? That’s because you’re not part of the Direct Market, man. You’re just some paperback pusher. I bet you don’t even know what the Direct Market is, do you?

05/06 9:51 AM

My girlfriend happened to read that last email and pointed out that it reeked of gatekeeping. That’s a major problem in the comic book community. It’s probably a factor in why comic book stores, in general, are struggling.

06/15 2:44 PM

Please please please don’t sell floppies. (A floppy is an individual issue — see I’m trying to work on that whole gatekeeping thing!) Floppies are more trouble than they’re worth but they’re still worth the trouble to me.

06/27 10:32 AM

You’re just being cruel now.

07/15 1:07 AM

How the hell did you get Robert Kirkman to agree to do a signing in your garbage little store? I actually know Robert Kirkman. From the Battle Pope days! Did he mention me?

08/09 3:33 PM

You’ve done well so far, I admit that, but there is no way you’ll be able to compete with me if you start slinging back issues. (Back issues are old comic book issues, you should probably know that by now.) I have over 2,000 in sleeves with cardboard backings. I know how to get a comic’s condition graded. I have them sorted by publisher, title, and run. Don’t come at me, bro.

09/13 8:25 PM

I’m told you bought a Swamp Thing #43 in far from mint condition for $20. You realize those go for like $5 on eBay? Novice.

10/26 12:47 PM

I never even brought up the whole Dungeons and Dragons thing. I thought you would stick to the 5th Edition. Honestly, I didn’t think you were aware that any other tabletop RPG existed. But now you’ve got Pathfinder. Good luck selling Pathfinder. I barely sell Pathfinder.

11/09 8:55 AM

You know that guy who traded 50 Legion of Super-Heroes stacked in a milk crate for $5 in-store credit? That was me in a trenchcoat. The mustache was real. I’ve been growing it just for the occasion.

01/18 7:00 PM

So you’re having a Magic: The Gathering tournament? Gross. I hope those disloyal neckbeards ruin your bathroom. Beware the one they call Bluto. He packs more than a fedora.

03/06 3:04 AM

I hope a certain online wholesale retailer puts you out of business like you just put me. If you’d ever actually read a Wonder Woman comic, you might be able to guess which one.

07/20 4:19 PM

I heard Byron quit. Do you guys have any openings? I know a lot about comic books.

07/29 12:56 AM

Print is dead. Long live Kindle!