What’s a Flying Monkey?
And why do they take sides with the narcissist?
After years of emotional abuse and verbal put-downs, Ava finally stood up to her narcissistic mother, then after one last screaming match, she went no contact. But just as Ava began to find more peace in her life, she started getting phone calls from her sister, Anna.
Like most sisters, Ava and Anna had some sibling rivalry, but they usually got along. Despite misunderstandings while they were growing up, they loved each other. Ava felt annoyed that her sister seemed to be checking up on her. It was subtle at first, but soon it became apparent when Anna suggested that Ava was disrespecting their mother. When Ava asked what made her think this, her sister launched into an all-out attack on Ava’s character. She called Ava selfish, irresponsible, and coldhearted — all things their mother had called her. It was obvious to Ava that Anna had been talking to their mother, and she felt betrayed by her sister.
The two of them had talked many times about their mother’s need for control. Her sister knew what mom was like, but now she was taking their mother’s side. Feeling alone and cut off, Ava stopped answering her sister’s calls.
Ava never saw this coming, but her sister had become a flying monkey for her narcissistic mother. If you’ve ever watched The Wizard of Oz, you’ve probably heard…
