Being Direct isn’t being a B*tch.

I’m (just slightly) a little bit, kinda sorta, self-conscious of how I come across to people, especially when it comes to communicating in the workplace. I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, have them think I’m being rude, or make the other person feel like I don’t appreciate how hard they are working. Or maybe I don’t want to be thought of as the “Bitch of the Office.” Either way, it’s an issue. The reality is that communicating over a job is just factual. There’s no reason to delay progress by trying to get to the point gently. We’re all looking to get shit done the best we can, so I’ve learned I need to get out of my head.

So why is beating around the bush such an issue in the workplace?

You’re not getting work done

You’ll spend the majority of your time focused on someone else’s feelings rather than what needs to get done to accomplish the task at hand. Not to mention, you’ll probably have to re-tell someone what you meant about 10 more times before the light bulb finally switches on, which only adds to the frustration and delays the project. Just get to the point.

Huge waste of time

Have you ever spent 10 minutes looking over an email trying to figure out how to word it better, so you don’t sound like a jerk? How about spending 20 minutes trying to hype yourself up to confront your coworker to tell them they forgot a step on a project? That was 30 minutes of your day, where you could have been productive. Not to mention, if you aren’t direct with someone from the start, then you will probably be spending the rest of your time re-doing what they just did. So not only did you waste your time, but you just wasted your coworker’s time as well, and it spirals from there.

Let’s Say What We Mean to Say

It’s easy to say what you mean and mean what you say, but it’s also easy to get wrapped up in the worry of how the other person could receive it.

Stick to your gut

The reality of it is, you know what you need to say. Take a minute, compose yourself (if needed), and then start talking.

Listen to the other person

Stop and listen to what the other person is saying. If you take this time to understand what is going on in their head and from their perspective, you will probably figure out the best way to be direct with them without the opportunity for miscommunication.

Watch your tone

Watching your tone is probably the biggest tip out of all of these. If you are direct with someone and your tone is violent, critical, or even slightly disproving, you’re going to come off as the bitch you are trying to avoid being labeled as.

Be constructive

Sometimes when we are having issues being direct with a person, we leave out all the valuable and constructive information, so we do not hurt their feelings. Don’t do this. Make sure your message is constructive and that you cover all the information you need to. It’s the only way to keep moving forward.

Remember, you are not responsible for how another person reacts

In the end, you cannot control how the other person reacts. You will never be able to control what they think of you, but you can do your best to be direct and respectful.

Being direct isn’t being a bitch or a brat or anything else. It’s just efficient. We’re all working towards the same goal, getting shit done.