Celebrating Working Mothers and the Companies That Empower Them

As a mother of a 19-month old, I struggle to recall what I had for breakfast, let alone how I become a working mom at a tech startup nearly a year ago. The following is what I do remember.

When I was five months pregnant, my then-current employer revoked an offer of an internal company transfer to New York City. I found myself jobless and pregnant in a new place. I was overwhelmed and worried about our family living on one income in such an expensive location. The negative narratives surrounding women taking maternity leave dissuaded me from even looking for a new job. Living far away from the professional relationships I’d developed in other locations meant I needed to start anew. I felt uncomfortable networking as a pregnant woman. I thought people would be unable to see me as a lawyer and a pregnant woman — that these two identities were mutually exclusive. Given the circumstances, I postponed my job search until after the baby was born.

In the meantime, knowing a job search was looming, I did what any potential job hunter would do. I cleaned up my LinkedIn, revised my resume, and prepared cover letters. I spent months obsessing over life as a new mom, job searching while breastfeeding, and how to balance nurturing a baby and a career. I worried about my job prospects. I’d heard horror stories about companies not hiring women simply because of their potential to procreate, which would require taking time off to recover and bond with their newborns. Friends advised me to remove my engagement and wedding rings prior to an interview to avoid any suggestion I was or might consider becoming a parent.

I decided that hiding a fundamental aspect of who I am was necessary to land a job. I mean, who would want to hire a new mom? So, I locked down my social media. Any prospective employer would never be able to detect I had contemplated motherhood or was an expectant mother.

After our daughter’s initial arrival, I did not think about my career. After struggling through the first few months of motherhood, I began to fear the “resume gap.” I dove into the job search pool. Looking back, it was more of a toe-dip into the job search pool because I had to squeeze it in with: breastfeeding, cleaning up baby vomit (before the dog ate it), pumping, not sleeping, crying (both the baby and myself), navigating New York’s public transit system with a newborn, going to countless medical appointments (including physical therapy for our little one), meeting new moms, exercising, and figuring out how to keep our tiny human alive.

Then, a family friend connected me to a virtual reality startup, Littlstar, that was looking for in-house counsel. I knew I was qualified for the position, but would that even matter? Prior to my initial interview, I questioned my strategy of hiding being a new mother. I learned babies don’t care whether you have to work, and sometimes, they require you to miss meetings or important phone calls. How does one spring motherhood upon their new employer post-hire? With flowers?

Towards the end of the initial interview, the interviewer said, “Your family friend mentioned you are a new mom. Congrats. How old is your daughter?” I am not sure if he caught the shock on my face. Gathering myself together, I answered. I don’t recall any part of the conversation after that point. I was stuck on the fact he had known I was a new mom and yet he was seriously considering me for the position anyway. Plus, he was genuinely excited to hear about my daughter. I walked out of the interview feeling enormous relief. Not only was I excited about the job opportunity, I was thrilled to find a company supportive of working mothers. I accepted the job offer and joined the working moms club.

Despite the supportive environment, I still had many new working mom fears. I needed to navigate around my embarrassment over asking the CEO about the availability of a pumping room, which in my mind sounded like “hey, here’s a question about my boobs.” Later, I learned this question was just a passing thought to him. In the office, I learned to walk confidently to the company’s only closet, which doubled as my pumping space. I even educated our young engineers about “pumping.”

Since the initial interview, my dedication and ability to do my job has never been questioned. Everyone knows I leave at 5pm to spend time with my daughter before she goes to bed. I can work from home (and so can my husband), which enables us to maximize our work and family time. These practical policies and trust from leadership enable me to do my job without sacrificing time with my family, making me a happier and healthier employee.

My husband and I joke that once you become a parent, you are granted superpowers. It’s true. Motherhood has sharpened my skills, refocused my life priorities, enhanced my negotiation tactics, and enabled me to excel in time management in new ways. It is a running joke in the office that I do more before 10am than some people do during their whole day. Because my husband and I strive for a balanced life, we constantly plan, and schedule almost every moment of our day. The same fundamentals are transferred to my professional life and have increased my productivity at work. As a new mom where I am respected and embraced for who I am, I could not ask for better career-family balance. However, more sleep would be nice.

I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge two additional points. I could not be a working mom achieving a semblance of career and family life balance if I wasn’t paid: (1) on par with men; and (2) enough to afford childcare. Proper compensation at parity with men is essential for working moms and their families. It takes a village to raise a child, and we are fortunate to afford childcare during our working hours. With the support of our daughter’s flexible and understanding nanny, my husband and I can continue to grow our careers.

For International Women’s Day, I share my journey of becoming a working mother to celebrate and empower working moms. I applaud organizations, like my own, that support working mothers and enable us to thrive in our careers and at home with our families. At the same time, I challenge companies, especially those in the tech industry, to accelerate gender parity by rethinking their view of working mothers and embracing policies that will enable parents to thrive personally and professionally.

Here are recommended starting points for discussing how organizations can enable working moms to thrive:

(1) Reset the organization’s view of mothers to focus on the additional strengths, values, and skill sets moms bring to the job (i.e. our superpowers).

(2) Pay women and men equally for the same job because it will help achieve gender pay parity and enable families to afford childcare without mothers sacrificing their careers.

(3) Create flexible working policies, which can include flexible working hours, the ability to work from home, part-time work, and work shares for one position, so that working mothers have options for advancing in their careers.

(4) Where possible, provide childcare, access to it, or enough pay so employee’s children receive adequate childcare during working hours.

(5) Provide paid family leave, which allows mothers to physically recover from giving birth and provides parents time to bond with their newborn, free from worries related to their job, career, or finances.