Embracing the Comfort in Discomfort
The Social Struggles of Jerry Seinfeld and Other Comedians
This is a “horrible mistake,” said the well-known television host Steve Harvey. To the shock of all those watching live and millions more on social media, Harvey had incorrectly announced the winner of the 2015 Miss Universe Pageant.
The painfully awkward scenario that played out was then replayed countless times on morning news shows for days to come. This exact result is why many around the world have racing hearts and sweaty palms at the thought of speaking to a crowd.
Social interaction and speech is a daily and vital part of our lives, yet for many of us, speaking to a group or public speaking is an activity we dread. In Mark Twain’s eyes, “There are two types of speakers: those who are nervous and those who are liars.” This insight even rings true scientifically, as surveys have found public speaking to be the number one fear of the average person. Jerry Seinfeld, the great actor and comedian, noted in one of his routines that he recently discovered that the fear of public speaking is more common than the fear of death. In Seinfeld’s words, “I found that amazing. Number two was death. Death is number two! This means to the average person if you have to be at a funeral you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.” This simple perception not only sheds light on the absurdity of this fear but also illuminates the skill of Jerry Seinfeld as an observational comic.
While Jerry Seinfeld is best known for his massive role in the 1990’s hit sitcom Seinfeld, his career in the public eye did not stop when the show’s finale aired in 1998. Instead, he returned to his roots as a comedian and resumed his stand-up shows the same year. One of the shows, titled I’m Telling You for the Last Time, toured the country and was his last show containing old material. It was in this show that Jerry Seinfeld commentated on the fear of public speaking.
“I found that amazing. Number two was death. Death is number two! This means to the average person if you have to be at a funeral you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
Like much of Seinfeld’s comedy, this joke is funny because of the use of observational comedy. While fear and public speaking are topics we are all familiar with, Jerry Seinfeld is able to find small details that we have never noticed — bringing our attention to its absurdity. In addition, he utilizes a comedic principle known as incongruous juxtaposition theory. In essence, humor is felt when the expected result does not occur. This theory explains the humor we feel at surprising lines in comedy also known as punchlines. Combined with Seinfeld’s masterful observational comedy, the incongruous juxtaposition theory allows us to find humor in the absurd realization that people “would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy”.
Aside from the humor of the joke, this bit also speaks volumes about humans as a species. Everyone has certain fears that can cause a range of discomfort from mild apprehension to severe trepidation. For many, public speaking is a top fear; The fear of public speaking is scientifically known as glossophobia and can result in anxiety, physical discomfort, and avoidance of public speaking situations. It is thought that glossophobia is driven by the fear of social judgement and disapproval. People are often afraid to speak out because they are afraid they will be judged negatively. Even more so, it is believed that the fear of public speaking evolved from the possibility of social rejection which led to lower odds of survival.
“I like a little bit of risk. Maybe that’s why I do this?”
While it may seem that those who publicly speak and interact with people professionally would be immune to this fear, this is not necessarily the case. Interestingly enough, just before Seinfeld’s joke about death, he mentions that he likes “a little bit of risk” and that may be the reason he is a stand-up comedian. Inherently, the job of a stand-up comic has risk: jokes must be timed perfectly, resonate with the crowd, and generate a good laugh; all for the comedian to simply survive in the industry. However, for Jerry Seinfeld, this risk stems beyond these challenges. In fact, this instance is not the only time he has alluded to his discomfort with public interaction. In several interviews, Seinfeld has said that he enjoys anxiety and does not want to be spared the grime of comedy with these statements based on his overall discomfort with social interaction.
“Basic social engagement is really a struggle”
In a particularly controversial interview on NBC, Seinfeld even self-diagnosed himself as on the autistic spectrum, saying that “basic social engagement is really a struggle” for him. While he later rejected the claim that he is on the autism spectrum, he still stands by his other comments. For someone who interacts with others on a daily basis, it is fascinating that he finds social interaction so difficult. With a mentality of embracing anxiety and discomfort, Seinfeld has managed to turn his fears and challenges with public interaction into a career. It might be that because he has trouble interacting with people, he has had to rely on comedy to get him through social interaction. Unlike those who have no trouble with social interaction, Seinfeld has probably had to use his sense of humor to keep conversations going and to diffuse awkward conversational moments. The conversational humor employed in the show Seinfeld is likely not far off from the humor he utilizes in social situations. This comedic gift has transcended from dialogue to monologue and Seinfeld has adapted this humor for stand-up comedy, allowing him to be the richest comedian in the world.
However, Jerry Seinfeld is not alone in his social problems. It has been found that comedians can disproportionately struggle with a plethora of mental health issues. One 1975 study found that upwards of 80 percent of highly successful comedians studied had sought a form of therapy. This same study theorized that comedy leaves the comedian with power where they would normally be powerless. While comedians may struggle with personal social relationships they regain control over people on the stage. This concept is something Jerry Seinfeld has himself referenced, saying that he has control over the audience while they are laughing. In addition, Seinfeld has said that he could not live without stand-up, supporting psychologist Gordon Claridge’s idea that comedy is almost like a medication for comedians. For many of these comedians, their careers are ways of dealing with the mental and social problems that plague them. Yet, in the end, according to Seinfeld, his career in comedy is driven by getting people to laugh. He describes laughing as pure and opinionated — Seinfeld and other comedians can experience joy through the eyes of their audience, even if they can’t create that joy solely for themselves. In an almost paradoxical way, comedians are able to find enjoyment in an activity that they otherwise dislike — social interaction.
Seinfeld recognizes these differences in comedians and has started an internet show, “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee”, solely based on comedians talking with one another.
For Seinfeld, comedians are the only type of people that he can truly understand and fully communicate with, and his goal is to highlight the quirky and unique characteristics that set comedians apart from everyone else. The interactions Seinfeld has on his show accurately portray these characteristics, as the comedians are able to discuss mundane and everyday topics with their own distinctive flare — leading to entertaining and hilarious moments that shed light into the minds of comedians.
While comedians do share a unique personality, the rise in fame that Jerry Seinfeld has faced is similar to many non-comedians. Self-made billionaires and millionaires are the household names we hear as they embody the American Dream — starting as regular people and working hard to create empires. Seinfeld is no different and his “comedy about nothing” is a testament to his ordinariness. We look up to those we want to be like, yet it is ironic that the models of comedy, professional comedians, that many wish to be like actually have very awkward social lives.
While the ways in which comedians deal with their problems is unique, the divide between comedians and regular people is not that large. Comedians and non-comedians alike, we all have social issues. Moreover, our own human nature leaves everyone with various fears. However, the response of comedians to these fears and problems is enlightening. While comedians like Jerry Seinfeld could simply accept their problems with social interaction, they instead utilize their talents and skills to create a career based on finding the comfort within the discomfort. If we are to use comedians like Jerry Seinfeld as an example, we should challenge ourselves to accept some risk and face our fears before we are in the casket.
