Name Calling
Growing up we’re always told that name calling is bad. But I wonder…
Recently a new friend called me an ally. I have never identified myself as an ally before. Specifically she was referring to me being an ally of the LGBTQ community, and since I’m not really involved in the LGBTQ community in any kind of intentional or unintentional way it completely surprised me. In the days that followed I found myself coming back to the word over and over and thinking… what does it mean to be an ally? What does it feel like, look like, taste like, smell like? I’ve tried to imagine myself putting on this new name and wearing it around to see how it fits. It feels good. It feels exciting, and almost like I’ve just discovered a super power. I’m an ally! So I’ve started to wonder…
What other names can I give myself that I might not have tried on before?
I also recently completed my first flash mob. I know, flash mobs are so 2010. But this was part of a bigger international event for the style of Cuban dance that my husband and I teach, so we decided to be part of it and make it happen here in our own city. It was a LOT more work than I expected, and involved organizing a decent sized group of people. In the end so many of these participants called me things like “organized,” “inspirational,” “strong,” “fun,” “leader,” etc. Some of these names I’ve been called before, but based on my recent revelation of being an ally I’m trying to let myself sit with each one for a bit. What does it mean to be a “leader?” What does it feel like, look like, taste like and smell like? How about “fun?” What does that mean to really own the name “fun?” There are times when I don’t feel like I’m fun. But does that mean that I can no longer say that I’m fun? Is part of my identity wrapped up in making sure others can call me a fun person all the time, or at least most of the time? I’m having fun at least trying on these different names and seeing how they feel. It’s empowering to notice that I’ve already started to carry myself a little differently when I think about wearing a name like “leader” or “strong.” I’m going to keep playing with this and try on different names as they come through my life.
How about you? What name do you want to call yourself today? You get to choose. Do you want to be bold today? How about tender? Or maybe quick-witted? Try it on. See how it fits.
