Goodbye XXXchurch, Hello Live Free
For those of you who follow XXXchurch, you may have seen the big announcement Friday…
Craig Gross is officially retiring as the leader of XXXchurch and handing the reins over to Brittany & Richard De La Mora.
Now, for those of you who’ve known me for some time, you may be wondering…
“What does this mean for you, Carl? After all, you’ve been working with XXXchurch for the past seven years. Does this mean there’s a change for you as well?”
And the answer to that question is, YES.
I started back with XXXchurch back in 2012 when they came to me and said, “Hey, we have this idea for an online small groups ministry and currently have one group and six dudes in it. Do you think you can help turn this into something for real?”
It was a part-time opportunity that I was more than eager to take on because I was working in the insurance industry as the President of an agency and kinda wanted out (well no kinda) and was hoping to pursue something in ministry myself.
I’m proud to say that now, over seven years later, this small groups ministry has grown from one group with six people to over 60 groups with 60+ leaders seeing 500+ men and women who meet weekly online to share their struggles, victories, and challenges.
It is without a doubt, the single greatest resource that I am proudest to have been part of and lead, most excited to see grow, and love the most.
That part-time position turned into a full-time one leading to my exit from the for-profit world of insurance in 2013. Fast forward to 2017 when Craig offered me the position of COO of XXXchurch.
At that time it was hard to believe that a once porn addict was now going to be leading the day to day operations of the same ministry that had helped him find freedom 8 years prior.
I thought to myself, “Wow God, I guess this is the final destination of a journey you had planned all along?”
Not so as it turns out.
Don’t get me wrong, my work with XXXchurch was part of his plan… but I think it was part of a greater plan which is now unfolding in front of my wife and me.
All that being said, I am stepping down as the COO of XXXchurch effective immediately and starting a new nonprofit called Live Free Ministries.
This is not a divorce or an ugly separation from Craig and XXXchurch. It’s a mutually agreeable decision, that this is the best path for both of us.
Craig and I have worked well together over the past seven years and we’ve done some pretty cool things. I am grateful for those experiences and I am thankful that unlike many before me, this is not an ugly breakup.
You see, Craig and I are both enneagram junkies. He’s a 3 and I’m an 8. When I originally read the description of how 3’s and 8’s work I suddenly realized why there were times when we completely meshed, and then there were those times we wanted to literally strangle each other.
We’re both strong headed.
We both like to lead.
We both want to achieve.
But we also do things a bit different at times. Sometimes drastically so.
When I went through all this 3 vs. 8 stuff one of the things that stuck out to me was that it said 3’s and 8’s can work very well together, but often their relationships end up falling apart and usually in a very ugly manner.
Honestly, when I read that I was like, “Dang, I hope that’s not me and Craig someday.”
Thankfully I can say that we’ve proven to be the exception to the rule.
Even though I’ll still be involved with XXXchurch on some things, specifically as a marketing partner…
My focus now is this new ministry, Live Free.
Live Free is a community-based resource that has two main offerings, 1) an online small groups program (which I have now acquired from XXXchurch and plan on growing even further) and 2) an app which we plan to launch in the fall.
My wife and I are super excited about these developments because we both believe so strongly in the need for authentic and real community, especially when it comes to the areas of porn, sex addiction, lust, whatever you want to call it.
It’s clear from the Bible that we need others, but then there’s also the hard science which shows that biologically and psychologically speaking, we absolutely need other people in our lives if we want to be successful… and especially when it comes to breaking out of bad habits or addictions like pornography.
Workshops, filtering software, all that stuff is fine… but without community it’s not going to be very effective.
Live Free is a brand new company.
And you might be thinking, oh no, another startup!?!? … and yes, I get it. That’s always scary. It is for me and my wife.
But thankfully, we have the unique opportunity here to begin a ministry that already offers a viable resource with a team of 60 plus leaders behind it.
Most new ventures are not that lucky.
We’ve also been blessed (and trust me, I’m not one to use that word too often, but that’s the only one I can think of here that’s appropriate) to have a fantastic board around us. These men and women are people that we’ve formed deep relationships with and we have the most respect for.
They believe in the cause.
They believe in me and my wife.
And they believe that we are doing something that is going to benefit a lot of people and build the Kingdom of God.
I’ve heard the podcasts and I’ve read the books. I know often the board and team you started with is not the board or the team, you end up with years later. But I, once again, hope to defy the odds because I believe that the people we have surrounded us with are in it for the long haul.
None of them are here because they have an agenda.
None of them are involved because they’re hoping that someday it’ll turn into a job.
No, they are here simply to serve and sacrifice…
sacrifice their time
sacrifice their emotional investment,
and yes, sacrifice some money.
My wife and I are so very thankful for these people.
And we are also thankful for my time with XXXchurch which led to a network of relationships, a variety of sometimes unbelievable experiences, and a whole new set of skills that I’ve had to hone and craft over the years so I could do my job.
Life is definitely like a puzzle, and when God is the puzzle maker, sometimes you sit there and scratch your head and wonder what the heck?
But the beauty is, and this doesn’t unfortunately always happen, when we can look back and see the complete puzzle and realize that there was a master plan all along.
Did God want me to struggle with pornography for nearly 20 years? I don’t think so.
Did God want me to spend the first 17 years of my career in the insurance business just to walk away with nothing to show for it? I don’t know.
Did God want me to help grow and lead a ministry just to step away seven years later at age 48 into something that is unknown, unsure, and in many respects… a complete “gamble?” Perhaps.
I guess these are the natural questions you have, but when you put it all together like an algebraic equation, you realize that there’s truth in the math, and that the numbers never lie.
We are entering this season of our life for a reason, and the timing of this is also for a reason… although I admittedly don’t really know what that reason is.
I’ll leave that to God. Those types of things are above my pay grade.
But my wife and I are super excited about this opportunity and we can’t wait to see where things go. We have a deep passion for this ministry and we are both committed to the idea that we will do whatever we gotta do to make sure that this effort grows and is successful.
Live free is going to be “THE” community resource because we will do community better than anyone else.
So all that to say…
I hope you hang with me over the next months (and years) and see where this roller coaster ends up. And yes, please pray for our success and the success of this ministry.
One last thing, in order for us to launch this app in the fall, we need to raise $5,000 a month for the next 12 months.
This money isn’t going to go towards salary or Carl and Katie’s vacation fund, this is the money we actually need to run the tech and get the word out via various marketing channels so people actually know about it.
If you would consider supporting this ministry by simply pledging $25 p/month for the next 12 months, we would greatly appreciate it. I’m including a link at the bottom of this post (or just click HERE) along with our social links (which quite frankly are very sparse at this point because our website will not be live for another two weeks). But if you would, go ahead and follow now. I assure you that in the coming months you’ll see a lot of exciting stuff coming out.
Finally, in closing, I want to offer a few thank you’s.
First, I want to, of course, thank God because he’s the one that has had this master plan all along.
He’s always held all the cards and only showed me the ones I needed to see, which is probably a good thing because I tend to get ahead of myself at times.
Yes. There have been times where I’ve said, “Why God, why?” … But thankfully he’s the type of God that entertains those questions and doesn’t hate me for asking them. So thank you for your continuous provision and faithfulness.
Second, thank you again to my board.
These last few months have been wild, and at times stressful. But knowing that you all have been there to support me and Katie is something that I can hardly express enough gratitude for. So thank you and I look forward to working with you for the years to come.
Third, thank you to our entire small groups online leadership team.
You men and women have been with us from the beginning. Through the ups, and the downs. You’ve endured technical issues, transitions, and all sorts of things, and yet you stuck in because you believed in the cause and you believed in the people that you lead.
Your contribution has made such a difference in this world, whether you realize it or not. The fact that over 80% of our leaders were once group members is a testimony to that.
I look forward to working with you and serving you over the years to come and seeing this ministry grow beyond what we ever thought it actually could become.
Fourth, thank you, Craig and the team at XXXchurch for the past seven years.
It’s been a ride and one that I often enjoyed. Thank you for your support, the opportunity to buy Small Groups Online, and your initial offer in the way of a part-time position to a guy who knew nothing about tech to lead a ministry effort that had no actual proven long-term viability. It’s been great.
And finally, last but not least, I want to thank my wife.
You’re the best partner I could have had over the past 17 years. In many ways, you didn’t know what you were getting into.
When you married me, you didn’t know I struggled with porn.
You didn’t know my issues.
But you took it all in stride and have stuck with me throughout this life journey.
Hopefully, the payoff is worth it.
The past 10 years of our marriage has been so much better than the first seven, much in part because of the fact that I’m no longer trapped by crap like porn. I’m so thankful for you, and in many ways, I don’t deserve you, but yet there you are regardless.
Thank you, Katie.
That’s it for now, but again, expect more to come out from me and this ministry in the next several months.
Until then, peace out (or whatever is the cool way to say goodbye these days).
Carl
