Leave a Legacy … RIP Kobe Bryant

This past weekend we lost a true sports legend and cultural icon in Koby Bryant.

When I heard the news, I was watching my son at his basketball game. So ironic and (un)timely. It made the entire situation very surreal as the truth of what I just heard sunk in.

Realize, I’ve never been a huge Kobe Bryan fan or follower. I respect his work, and I love the fact that he is Philly through and through, but he was never one of those guys I really resonated with in terms of sports.

However, Sunday night felt depressing as I sat there in my living room, faced with my own mortality and the realization that nine people had just lost their lives. And that many, many more were about to go through days, weeks, and even months of intense pain and agony.

The whole thing is so sad.
It’s hard to wrap my mind around.

But yet it happened.

And the media reminds me of this every day with seemingly endless stories about Koby Bryant and tributes to his work and the person he was (as the public recognized him).

A sports superstar.
A businessman.
A leader.
A good father.
A passionate competitor,

But as I see all the comments and posts trickling through my social media feeds, I can’t help but wonder, how did those closest to him see him?

You see, public opinion is extremely fickle.

One moment you’re a hero.
The next, you’re a villain.

Kobe’s had his moments with the media.
He’s had his rough times and his good times.

But thankfully, it appears that he’s finished well, which is what all of us hope for, I believe.

Again though, we’re talking about public opinion.

How will he be remembered by his family, his friends, and those he’s helped and interacted with daily?

I hope the legacy he left with them is just as good (if not better) than the one he left with the public.

The truth is that only those closest to him know this.

It’s so ironic because when we’re dealing with things like porn and other habits that create an intense amount of shame, often what keeps us stuck is our fear that we will lose favor in the sight of those around us if they discover the truth about us.

Not our friends.
Not our family.
Not those who love us.

But our co-workers.
Our fellow church members.
The people next door.
The people who follow us on social media.

We continue to sport a mask of perfection because we want the world to remember us as someone that perhaps we are not. All the while, we continue to hurt those closest to us and damage the relationships that matter the most.

I don’t know how ultimately, I will be remembered by those who love me, but I hope when it’s my time to leave this place, they will say things like…

He was a great dad and a great husband.
He was a leader, and someone people could trust.
He was determined, strong, and passionate about the things he believed in.
He was someone who cared about people.

Who knows?

But I do know this…

It will be a much better picture then what would have been painted 15–20 years ago when I was hiding my porn addiction.

If you’re struggling, just know that what really matters is the legacy you leave behind with those who love you the most.

Not the fans.
Not the followers.
Not the people who love you for what you can do for them.

But the people who actually matter. The people that are most affected by your choices, good or bad.

Life can be rough.
It has its ups and downs for sure.

But ultimately, what matters is how we finish.

For my sake and yours, I pray that we all finish very, very well.

Rest in peace Kobe.