Look At Me, Not Yourself: What You Should Know About Dating A Narcissist
“The heart wants what it wants.”
At least that’s what I told myself when I started dating him.
Truth be told, I knew he liked himself a little too much. I knew. Yet I, just like everyone blinded by the idea of love, thought he would change. I thought he would acknowledge me as his equal and no less. For a split second, I even thought his “confidence” was actually sexy.
Don’t get me wrong, CONFIDENCE is sexy. Unfortunately, confidence can be mistaken for a very big ego. An ego so big, there won’t be any space for you in his life. An ego so big, he’ll keep looking down on you. An ego so big it will swallow you, and make you feel like absolutely nothing.
Truth is, a narcissist is one that isn’t selfish, but self-absorbed. A narcissist is one that believes the earth orbits around him, not the sun.
And unfortunately, a narcissist is the worst kind of person to date because they won’t just make you question your own worth, they’ll keep proving you will never be good enough.
Psychology Today defines narcissism as the following:
“Narcissistic Personality Disorder involves arrogant behavior, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration-all of which must be consistently evident at work and in relationships. People who are narcissistic are frequently described as cocky, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding. Narcissists may concentrate on unlikely personal outcomes (e.g., fame) and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment.”
So, for all the girls in a relationship with a guy who fits the profile, I want you to know these four things:
He will never love you more than he loves himself.
I know you think love conquers all. But, for all you hopeless romantics, a guy cannot be your project. If he’s a narcissist, no person on this planet will change that. If he wants to change, he should do so himself. But if you want a guy that will adore you and treat you with the utmost respect you deserve, the narcissist is the one to stay away from.
He will always neglect your success.
Whether I got a job, wrote a killer article, or scored an A on the final exam, nothing I ever did was good enough. Truth is, successful women scare narcissists like cats scares mice.
The idea that someone else may be better than them?
Mon Dieu, Impossible!
He will want you for your body, not your mind.
The thing about narcissist is that they think everyone owes them the world. They are at the top of their game, and whether this is a reality or not, they will never appreciate a girl for her mind. And even less if she chooses to speak up. He will, however, love her for her body — and only for that. And, if he can’t have that, he’ll just move on to the next.
He will make you feel like sh*t about yourself.
Because that’s exactly what we need today, yet another person questioning whether we are good enough. He will make sure you feel like sh*t about yourself.
To make HIM look better.
To make HIM stand out from the crowd.
To make HIM feel good.
To feed HIS ego.
The truth about dating narcissists is that they simply won’t change.
They will never treat you with the respect and dignity you deserve.
So, for anyone reading this and knowing exactly what I’m talking about, please acknowledge that you are complete all by yourself.
Please see how beautiful you are. Please see that the last thing any person on this planet needs is someone who brings out the stress in them, when they should be bringing out the best in them.
Narcissists are a rare breed, but definitely one to stay far, far away from.
Feature Image via Hollister Co.