Why I Gave Up On The Guy I Thought Was My Other Half

When two people first meet, it is magical. Over time when two people want the same things in life and are willing to grow with each other — relationships work.

When we first met, I was your dream — I was everything you ever imagined a woman to be. You loved every minute with me. You wanted to know more. You willingly did everything and more than I expected. You made me happier than I had been in a long time.

As time went by, you started to change, and I started to change in your eyes. You started to see my flaws, you started to notice my faults and you focused on the scars.

You started to get frustrated with my little quirks that once attracted you to me. You didn’t see me the same way anymore.

You started to get bored because the thrill and passion weren’t there anymore You started to question yourself — is this it? And you started to get scared — what if this isn’t right? Because you believed that if it were right, it would be delightful and lovely all the way.

You got nervous at the first sight of glitch. You got petrified the first time we fought. You got worried if you were making a mistake by staying with me. You were terrified at the concept of permanence with me in a world full of options.

You believed in soul mates — the one perfect person who is right for you. I never believed in soul mates. I think most people choose to believe in soul mates because they want it to be real; it is the one ideal person for you who probably does not exist, but gives you the opportunity to move on from one to another in the search of this unicorn of a person. Most people keep looking without ever finding their Disney Prince soul mate.

When things got hard, you wanted to run. When things got tough, you wanted to hide. When things got complicated, you wanted nothing to do with it.

You thought people were disposable, switching options with one swipe. If not this, then there is definitely another. I didn’t quite fit your checklist. To be honest, you never fit mine either, but to me you were more than random qualities on a piece of paper.

You never cared about my feelings when there were uncertainties. You did not think how much this would hurt but you went ahead because you had to do what was ‘right’ for you. You never thought that I had doubts too, but as human I accepted you with your goodness and your ‘defects’ — I know nobody is perfect.

You were looking for the ideal but most of us don’t even know what we want. How can choose someone when we don’t know what we are looking for? I know that most of the time, whatever I am looking for isn’t what I want in life. You were someone I was never looking for but I wanted you in my life.

You believed relationships should be easy, you thought in relationships we would be happy all the time. You questioned my commitment to you every time we had an argument. You doubted yourself every time you had to grow up and compromise. You never fought for me. You never fought for us. You gave up on me, and more importantly, you gave up on us so easily.

You thought I wasn’t right for you, and that’s when I knew how wrong you were for me.

This is why I gave up on you, because you never even tried.

Featured Image via Leo Hidalgo.