Let’s Talk About Mirrors and Relationships
You are your relationship!
The biggest secret of relationships: all you meet are your mirrors, and all you need to do is understand and transform your relationships!
The biggest secret of relationships: all you meet are your mirrors, and all you need to do is understand and transform your relationships.
What does this mean? Others reflect parts of you, allowing you to see, learn, and grow. The qualities you admire in others are yours and so do the qualities you dislike in others.
Mirror Mirror!
Learn to recognize yourself in others without guilt, shame, and judgment. Self-love and self-understanding are essential pillars for any inner change. It is a matter of choosing whether you feel a victim of external factors or approach the situation with love, availability to learn, and from this position, growth is inevitable.
This truth applies to any case, as long as we allow our “inner enemies” to overshadow our growth. Any relationship can be an opportunity for growth and development or the biggest nightmare, up to you.
When only the mask is changed, the character is the same
It’s accurate that sometimes in life, we go through the same story, usually a bad one, with the same symbol but somehow, paradoxically, with a different face.
What do you mean? Are love affairs somehow repeated? Does the experience with a good friend look alike? Are the dynamics at work the same? Is it a dream or how?
The repetition of the problem, the appearance of emotions of the exact nature, and the insecurities make you believe that relationships are complex and require a lot of compromises, and what else is there to try again?
However, there is a common factor in all these relationships — YOU. This realization can frustrate you, and you may even reject the fact that everyone around you is your mirror. The only person you have to influence is yourself.
What do you see in the mirror?
To internalize, it is necessary to understand the phenomenon. The people around you and the relationships you form with them are the perfect replicas of your beliefs about life, love, and your relationship with you.
To recognize a certain quality in another person, you must first already have it, so you would not be able to see it. To better understand how others are your mirrors, try to think of the following categories: your beliefs, your qualities, and your actions.
Your beliefs are looking at you, practically!
Beliefs about relationships, men, women, love, and life, in general, are all there for you to see right in front of you. Wonderful ?! All of us have accumulated certain beliefs throughout our lives that influence us to react and act in a certain way out of habit meant to sustain our built life story.
For example, if you think that men and women are not trustworthy, no matter how dedicated you are, or if you have allowed yourself to take on the role of ‘other woman’ or ‘other man’ in a relationship, you will draw on relationships that lack trust. The predominant phenomenon, thus confirming its own story that people are not trustworthy.
Where do these beliefs come from?
The problem is you have not consciously chosen these beliefs that govern your experiences and relationships from the unconscious; there, they are established. You may have taken these beliefs from society, on average, from your parents and friends. For example, the stricter the culture, the more stringent the beliefs about relationships.
And as relationships are built on the set of beliefs, experiences are there only to strengthen them, thus creating a vicious circle that depends on the quality of ideas and whether they sustain a healthy relationship or not.
Taking responsibility for one’s qualities
Any quality you see in your partner shows you who you are. The more you dislike a specific rate, the more it offers you a part of yourself that you don’t accept. For example, if you do not like your partner’s jealousy or his competitiveness makes you angry, you will soon discover that you are jealous or competitive.
If the insecurities or negativity of your partner pulls you down, you will quickly find that you also have this way of existing. The only reason they affect you so much is that they are yours too, and you reject them. Simple, yes?
As long as you reject them and do not take responsibility for the negative parts, they will continue to frustrate you in this way, in others. Assuming them allows you to grow.
When positive qualities annoy you.
Paradoxically, you will find that there are also positive qualities that annoy you. For example, if your partner is too gentle and generous, this will frustrate you; it shows you that you want to be softer and more abundant, but you still resist this change.
Instead of reaching a state of frustration, try to see it as an opportunity to grow and learn a different way of living.
Your Actions: How do you treat yourself and others?
When your partner behaves in a way that upsets you, you will find that you also have this behavior, not necessarily towards your partner, maybe towards you, or maybe with another person in your life. If your partner treats you disrespectfully, look in your life for the person you dine with disrespect.
We all have what we call ‘buttons’ which, when activated, cause us to think and act in somewhat more negative ways than usual. Know about yourself what these buttons are, these triggers of negative behaviors, and the key to development.
Self-love is a foundation.
The truth is that all your relationships reflect the most significant relationship you have in this life, the relationship with you. In a relationship where your partner treats you with love and support, you will find that the basis is the love you have for yourself.
When you trust yourself, you will attract a trusted partner. After all, the foundation of healthy relationships with others is a healthy relationship with you.
There is no need to blame yourself. For development, it is essential not to fall into the trap of the role of the victim but to choose to regain your strength to bring about change and develop. It’s about getting to know yourself and gaining new skills and abilities that you didn’t think you were capable of. It’s your chance!
What happens when you change?
When your relationships change, you will notice changes in your daily thoughts and how your reality changes before your eyes. If you commit to change with determination and perseverance, you will quickly find that the results appear faster than you could have imagined.
It is the only constructive way to influence your relationship to change, starting from you. I encourage you to choose to see the mirror in front of you wherever you go and to engage responsibly in a constructive sense, not in manipulative and influential behaviors of your partner that gives you results only in the short term and brings a lot of toxicity in your life.
