San Francisco Lingo Is Out of Control

Dear San Franciscans, this is a public rant.

Can you please stop making up shortened names of neighborhoods? At first abbreviated idioms were cute when ya’ all named South of Market as “SoMa” (like Soho), but look, lately, it’s been getting out of hand.

Hey, I know the usage of local terms is a way to separate the “real” locals who have been here for 6 months from the tourists, but it just sounds, well, kinda dumb.

Now, for example, many of you are calling the Financial District “FiDi” (which ironically learned rhymes with “Tie-Dye”), but do the Panera loving bankers really need be at par with the Southern Market hipsters sportin’ Chrome bags?

“SoMa” and “FiDi”?

What. Language. Is. This?

Did I just cross into an animated children’s TV show, or someone just go to another predawn rave and get drunk off the over-fermented kombucha?

If you hear anyone use any of the following abbreviated idioms, please turn the opposite direction, whip out your iPhone, and place your noise-canceling Beats upon your cranium, and run from anyone who uses mutters any of the following:

Richmond District the “RiDi”
Dog Patch the “DoPa”
Mission District the “MiDi”
Marina District the “MaDi”
Fisherman’s Wharf the “FiWha”
Castro District the “CaDi”
Coit Tower the “CoTo”
Sunset District the “SuDi”
TenderLoin the “TeLo”
TenderNob (I didn’t make that up) the “TeNo”
Legion of Honor the “LeHo”
And best of all…
Golden Gate Park the “GoGaPa”

To help you identify where you could totally go wrong, let’s try to put it into one sentence, so you can easily spot someone making the egregious social faux pas:

“Hey, after brunch in the CaDi, do you want to ride bikes in the MaDi and then get bubble tea in SuDi, then head over to LeHo to see some naked art, and have dinner in TeLo, then we can grab some coffee in MiPi, then check out the splotchy fur on the buffalos in GoGaPa?”

If bits of your tofu wrap just came a bit up in your throat, nearly knocking down your Spyglass espresso into your Google Glass charger, you’re not alone. I’d like to put a moratorium of SF folks from barring the usage of excessive Abbreviated Idioms, or as we often say, “AbIds”.

ThYoiAd (Thank You, In Advance),