I laugh at anyone who believes that a teacher’s lesson plan and what happens in the classroom are ever identical. We have to deal with all kinds of possible roadblocks to our carefully crafted lessons including but not limited to: phone calls, related service providers needing to work with a student, technology hiccups, or a cricket chirping from some hiding place that can’t be found. In the Life Skills classroom, students are struggling with their own issues to communicate effectively and deal with big feelings. This can lead to meltdowns, outbursts, and, at times, aggression. Managing classroom behavior is a huge part of teaching. While there are times I have to deal with a student’s behavior RIGHT THEN, other times I use my secret weapon: The Conversation Bench.
My conversation bench is in the hallway, right outside my classroom. When I ask a student to sit with me on the conversation bench, my voice is calm and I do my best to emote “concerned and caring teacher.” The purpose of time on the bench is two-fold. First, the student needs to get away from the hustle and bustle of the classroom to calm down and/or be able to think. Second, I can connect with the student and try to uncover the “why” behind the behavior. Students are willing to come with me to the bench because they know our communication isn’t going to be angry and harsh. This is an attempt to connect and work together to make things better. There may still be consequences for whatever behavior led to the bench, but I take the time to calmly explain why the consequences have to happen.
Time on the bench can be in response to a serious one time behavior, big feelings, or concerning patterns of behavior that have changed over time. The goals are always the same: connection, active listening, and resolution. I call this my secret weapon because students learn how much I care about them and want them to succeed. This relationship building flows into all aspects of instruction and management, making our interactions better in every environment.
