Soft Life or Hustle Life? Why I chose to embrace “success on the go”
I’m 24. 80% of my life so far has been spent, “on-the-go”. Always moving from goal to goal, from ambition to ambition, from project to project. Yet, I’ve finally been able to perceive a concept which had been so elusive up till now. I certainly remember moments where I would catch glimpses of it, and even wrote about it a few times, but I feel like what I’m about to share with you is so far my best way to encapsulate this revelation, so… enjoy!
What is balance, really?
The idea of balance has always been a conundrum to me. I love studying human psychology and all the facets of productivity. I find the concept of growth fascinating, and as a software engineer, I’m inclined to wanting to optimize everything. I want to achieve a perpetual state of flow.
So the idea of balance has always been intriguing to me. What is balance really? What does it mean to live a balanced life? What does it mean to live a fulfilling life? These are questions I find myself ruminating at 1 am in the morning…
Hustle Life & Soft life
Because of this, though I’ve lived most of life always pursuing the next goal and moving, I always believed that one day, I would reach a point where I was “done”. Where I would finally sit and enjoy the fruits of my labor, where I would finally rest. Yet as new projects would get added after completed ones, and school courses became more demanding, and former successes turned into lifelong commitments, I realized that the rest I was looking for was elusive. I had braced myself many times to endure stressful situations because I wanted to reach the peak, only to get there and realize there was a new mountain to climb.
When I realized this, like many of you if you relate, I course corrected and decided that I would only live a soft life from then on. My days became slower, and I decided that nothing was worth bothering me. I learned to rest and embrace the slowness of life, and chose to focus on the present rather than constantly living in the future. And while I’m grateful for this season and everything it taught me, somewhere down the line I abused it.
I became over-protective of myself and afraid of trying new things or doing anything that was mildly stressful or that would disturb my “peace”. Though I used to be very disciplined and hardworking in the past, I began to struggle to maintain any kind of structure for fear of becoming too rigid. I was protective of myself because, after being burnt out multiple times, I was all too familiar with what being overly ambitious had could do. But I didn’t realize that going too far into the other extreme came with its own set of problems. After getting myself in trouble for disregarding important personal responsibilities, which I had avoided because they were uncomfortable and didn’t feel “soft”, I realized I needed to make a change.
Success on the Go
If I hadn’t given my goals my everything when the season demanded it, I would’ve regretted not completely devoting myself to my goals.If I hadn’t taken this time of extreme “soft life,” I would’ve accomplished things only to resent my own ambition. Now, that I’ve done both, I can take a step back and asses how I truly want to live and design a life that feels harmonious.
I realized that what I was chasing when I was still in my “Hustle life / Destination Mindset” phase was not only success, but the “feeling” of success — the promise of significance, the sweetness of feeling important and worthy. No one works hard to feel unimportant. Success — whatever it may look like to you — a fit body, the grades, the job, the relationship, the promotion— is attractive because of how if ultimately feels. So living in with this mindset made me feel alive and purposeful, but it also made me feel like I was delaying my joy and gratification until I had achieved what it was I was hustling for.
But no one can delay their joy for that long, which is why I forced myself to slow down because I needed to enjoy my life “now”. I became disillusioned with the first route I was taking. What’s the point of being successful if you’re not enjoying it? Why invest so much time to achieve a rush that’s so fleeting? And this new perspective me feel present and grounded, but sometimes too lost in the present with no pull and thrill from the pursuit of something bigger than me.
What I’ve realized now is that I want to live in both states at the same time, by feeling successful as I go.
Life is like a game of Mario Kart
When you play Mario Kart, you’re asked to select an obstacle course, which comes with its own set of rewards and challenges. Without a course, there is no game to play. Without a course, you’d just be driving an aimless go-kart. Similarly, in life, your goals are actually the obstacle courses that you select for yourself. They each determine the paths and journeys that you will embark on. Without goals or something to look forward to, you have a go-kart but no direction.
But imagine playing Mario Kart without enjoying the race itself, and only waiting until the game is over to start enjoying it. No one gets to the end of the game to start enjoying it. So why are we waiting until we accomplish all our goals to start enjoying life? The goal is only as meaningful as the journey it offers, and the journey is ultimately where the game is to be played.
So now I’m learning the art of true balance — allowing myself to be pulled forward by goals, but feeling successful as I go. Because there’s no reason to wait till the end to start having fun.
