Take Up Your Space!

It’s Showtime!

Everything you are looking to induce in another person, whether it’s respect, admiration or interest, is often played within the first seconds of interacting with them. This isn’t about being fake for the sake of ‘attention’. It’s simply about being unapologetically yourself, being genuine and passionate that you shine your light on everyone you meet.

Evvie McKinney, the winner of FOX’s singing competition The Four is someone who embodied confidence so well that, 4 years later, I still re-watch her performances whenever I need a little motivation boost. Evvie joined the competition much later than the other contestants who had had enough time to establish their respective fan bases. So she wasn’t only starting the show prettylate, she was also stepping into occupied territory.

But when she was asked to introduce herself and share what she’s about to do, she said, with epic fierceness — “I came to eat.”

And just like that she changed my life.

I had never seen someone embody so much tact, power and authority in an introduction before. After introducing herself in this way she stepped on the stage and you can imagine what she did — she ate. She wasn’t timid, and she didn’t demand people’s respect or admiration. She simply earned it. She influenced her environment and proved to the audience that she was in control.

Stop rehearsing your fears

“Your mind doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality.

My Dad

At times in our lives, we give fear traction by imagining it. By preparing for it. By preparing to fight. By preparing to struggle. By expecting something to be hard. We think in doing so we are being wise or smart. But I’ve learned that being logical and realistic is not always the best solution to every problem, especially when it comes to social environments, performing, and bringing our creative pursuits to life.

As a performer, I learned this through my many experiences in hosting events, debates, speeches, modeling and musical performances. I recall that as a child, people would tell me that I was a natural born performer and it was easy to believe. I was a child, and I thought, “If they say so, then it must be true”. However, as I grew up, I became more aware of and crippled by my own shortcomings.

Where I didn’t use to doubt I began to doubt. I began to doubt my skills, my looks, my stage presence. One day while practicing for an upcoming singing performance, I stood in my college dorm, closed my eyes, and imagined the crowd watching me. In an attempt to prepare myself for eventual feelings of nervousness, I tensed up and thought that I would practice feeling fear and singing anyway. I thought that if I practised feeling fearful and singing anyway, the day of my actual performance, I would feel more confident on stage.

But there was something I didn’t account for: “Your brain doesn’t always know the difference between imagination and reality”.

What I actually did was sabotage my performance. Because I had trained myself to fear and expected fear, I created an environment for it. I invited it. I manifested it.

What if I had expected a good outcome instead? What if I had trained myself to engage the audience instead of letting them decide my fate? What if, instead, I had invested my practice time in not allowing myself to become a product of the energy around me?

What if, instead of recreating feelings of fear, I recreated moments I felt confident and was ready to blow off the stage?

Practice being your ideal self

Make my lesson your own today and start “practicing” your ideal self.

Start showing up as them and practicing taking up the space that you want to dominate. How would you look like? How would you speak? Who would you be with?

What you practice long enough with the right mindset can become your reality sooner than you’d think.

It’s time for you to create your own environment to thrive. Step into 2023 and take up your space!

Happy Women’s Day to all the ladies!