10 positive changes that happened after moving to a peaceful environment
When we think of our environment, we may automatically think about what surrounds us. But our environment also includes who and what was with us in that space at the same time.
We can further expand our idea of the word environment, by thinking of our own physical and mental inner health, our personal habitat. Our wider environment, outside of the self, will have an immediate effect on our inner self.
There are many factors which can contribute to a stressful environment. Our house may be damp, we may not get along with family members, our neighborhood may not be as safe as we would like.
There are three layers of environments;
- The wider environment; this may consist of pressures which we may not have any control over, such as the government decisions, social housing, and government payouts.
- The immediate environment; This is where we currently find ourselves coinciding, who is in the same space, whether we feel belonging and grounded in that space.
- The inner environment; This reflects our inner habitat. It may include who we are as a person, our physical and mental health. Do we look after ourselves as we would our home and loved ones?
When I recently departed from an environment, I suddenly came to realize how my own health and mental state improved;
1. SLEEPING THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT
I was getting a few hours sleep, in a stressful environment. I was waking up every 2–3 hours, thus waking up agitated and overtired in the morning.
I find that now, I sleep right through the night, no matter if I go to sleep at 10 or even 12. I nod off and wake up when my body has had enough sleep (unless my adorable kids wake me up beforehand, which is usually the case).
2. REACHING A POINT OF PEACE
My inner self was not at peace. My husband would find me crying most nights. My situation felt like a cage. I felt that my situation was impossible to get out of. I was torn in between decisions that I couldn’t feel I was able to make.
Now, I am at peace. I no longer feel the need to release as many tears. I am just grateful that I was strong enough to take the leap.
3. A LOWER ANXIETY LEVEL
The feeling of dread when crossing the threshold of a house they thought as a home is a feeling no one should feel. The feeling of not being wanted and feeling that you don’t belong should not be allowed to happen, as this (in my books) is what can constitute to developing mental health problems, a case of mental instability.
Now I feel like I want to be at home. I can pull up to the door and smile, knowing that someone inside those four walls will acknowledge me.
4. INNER CONFIDENCE INCREASE
Although my confidence has grown since I have had kids, I found my ability to stay strong stayed with me. My determination to focus on my children’s health is what pushed me to change my views of my situation.
Throughout the moving process, my confidence grew as I knew that I had the necessary strategies in place to get my family in a place where they felt like a family.
5. FUTURE EXPLORATION
Not being able to complete my studies was a major downfall for me. One in which I regretted but I had to do in order for my children to thrive. Now I am looking towards the future of university and progression in my career.
6. SAVING MONEY
To avoid any confrontation and allow my kids to breathe, I was spending money on taking them out everywhere and sitting in cafes. Anything to avoid being in that environment.
Now, I am able to save money and enjoy doing homey things with my kids. Things which won’t cost the earth and which will bring my kids and I closer together.
7. DISSIPATION OF PARANOIA
When isolated from the world, with no one to talk to, you start to feel the strain.
Being in an environment, where you feel you have to live up to one’s standards and always asking yourself constantly whether the kids made a mess? Did I clean it all up properly? How can I quickly discipline the kids so they won’t ever, ever do it again? Shout at the kids more, that should do it.
Paranoia can always encapsulate you even when you don’t realize, even when you feel you have the situation under control.
When it has been drummed into your head that everything you do, as a mum is wrong, from cleaning a spillage off the floor to teaching your kids about life, you start to get paranoid as you are listening to others way of living.
If you keep focusing on changing your children to please others, then you have parenting all wrong. Parenting is allowing your child to grow in his or her own unique way, with guidance, support, and unconditional love. As simple as that sounds, it never will be! And that is the fun of parenting!
8. LIFTING THE WEIGHT OF PRESSURE
A deadlift of pressure sitting on your shoulders will make anyone feel like they are worthless and not up to the demands of life and motherhood. It is at this time, where we need support and not criticism.
This helps to lift the heavy burden of pressure and gives us the chance and confidence to restart with a new plan. When criticisms fly in every direction to everything you do, you start to doubt yourself.
Being away from criticism and trying to please everyone allows you to be at peace with yourself and to go back to being yourself again.
9. POSITIVE CHANGES IN MY CHILDREN
Not all positive changes occurred with me. I have seen a positive change in my children too.
They are free to explore, relax and to be themselves, without the invisible pressure which lay so heavy on their shoulders.
They have the freedom to be kids and do what kids do, even if that means playing “home basketball” with the laundry basket and my slippers.
10. PLANNING WITH EXCITEMENT
Whether it be planning future plans with my children or planning to go out with friends or husband, I no longer feel anxious to ask others to watch my kids. I no longer feel guilty for asking or felt wrong that I should even consider such an action.
When living in a stressful situation, you instantly feel that it is your duty to be next to your kids and watch them do everything. You don’t ever feel like you can do something without feeling like it is the wrong thing to do.
I know just by looking at my children how the pressure has been lifted. Their eyes are cheeky and have life in them. They mess around and take me for a ride and we end up in laughter. When you see these changes occur, you realize just how one decision can change your whole life.