10 Proven Ways To Manage Your Anger
If you kick a stone in anger, you’ll hurt your own foot – Korean Proverb
When someone cuts you off on the freeway, do you give in to your rage? Do you burst out in anger when your child misbehaves?
Anger is a very natural emotion.
However, learning to deal with your anger in a positive manner is important, both for your well-being and that of others around you.
When you cannot control your temper, you and everyone near you suffers the consequences.
The good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way!
You don’t have to fall victim to an uncontrollable temper.
There are anger management techniques that will help you change the way you express this emotion.
Here’s how.
Give yourself a time out
“The greatest remedy for anger is delay.” ― Thomas Paine
Counting to ten before you speak or act gives you a chance to think first.
Take a deep breath or two while you count to ten; this action helps relax your tense muscles and sends a burst of oxygen to your brain for clarity of thought.
Removing yourself altogether from the situation gives you more time to calm down and further reduces the risk of an angry outburst. You can return once you’re able to discuss the issue peacefully.
Create some personal space
“Speak when you are angry — and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret. “ — Laurence J. Peter
When the very presence of a specific person makes your blood boil, stay away from them until your frustration dies down.
Use the opportunity away from them to work through your feelings and seek a positive solution to your challenge with them.
After you’re calm, express yourself.
It’s healthy to express your feelings, even feelings of anger, as long as you do it in a peaceful, positive, and non-confrontational way.
Discussing your feelings with the person who upsets you often helps both of you understand each other better so you can work out your issues.
Stewing about what is bothering you can make the whole situation worse.
Get some exercise
“If you know that you’re going to be entering into a situation that is likely to make you angry, go for a run first." — Nathaniel Thom
Strenuous physical activity is an incredible way to release your anger, especially if you feel you’re at the breaking point.
Exercising also releases endorphins, the “feel good” hormones, which will help you feel more at peace.
Lifting weights, running, and playing sports are great ways to blow off some steam.
Think it through
“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” ― Ambrose Bierce
When you’re angry, you’re more likely to say something hurtful that you don’t really mean.
Write down what you want to say so you can work through the issue at hand; when your temper is flaring, it’s easy to get sidetracked.
Find a win-win solution
“The true test of character is to live win-win even when in situations where win-lose is possible.” ― Orrin Woodward
Instead of focusing on what someone did to make you angry, work with him or her to resolve the issue.
Finding a solution that you both agree on will allow you to feel satisfied.
Use personal statements
“When we speak evil of others, we generally condemn ourselves.” — Publius Syrus
Avoid criticizing or placing blame.
Use statements like, “It makes me feel angry and upset when you don’t help me,” instead of “You never help me,”which could make that person angry or resentful in return.
Avoid holding a grudge
“Do not let your anger lead to hatred, as you will hurt yourself more than you would the other.” ― Stephen Richards
Maintaining resentment toward someone only hurts you.
Let it go, put it in the past, and move forward with your life.
It’s unreasonable to expect everyone to act the way you want them to.
Rather than letting someone continue to irritate you with their mannerisms, find a way to accept or look past them.
Use humor
“Laughter is the closest distance between two people.” — Victor Borge
Lighten up the situation by saying or doing something genuinely funny.
Once you both have a good laugh, it’s easier to find a resolution together.
When being humorous, avoid sarcasm as it can hurt and make things worse.
Practice relaxation techniques
“Meditation can help us embrace our worries, our fear, our anger; and that is very healing. We let our own natural capacity of healing do the work.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
Skills like deep breathing and picturing a relaxing scene can help defuse your temper when you feel it start to boil.
Listening to music and practicing meditation and prayer are also great stress relievers.
Conclusion
“How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.” — Marcus Aurelius
If you feel that your anger is still out of control after using these strategies, you may benefit from some extra help, such as:
- Reading further books on anger management.
- Seeing a licensed therapist or counselor.
- Attending anger management classes or support groups where others discuss ways to cope with their anger.
No matter how severe your anger may be, these tips and techniques can help you control your temper, rather than letting it control you.
Free yourself from anger and find greater joy in your life today!
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