3 Ridiculously Powerful Strategies You Can Use to Beat Rejection
His best-selling book Atomic Habits has sold over 3 million copies worldwide. He boasts of a large number of subscribers to his popular blog and newsletter. At a glance, James Clear is the epitome of boldness.
Yet, this wasn’t always the case.
Throughout his very successful business, James has had to overcome some deep fears. Initially, they were tucked away in his own mind. He thought of himself as a loser for skipping a “real job” to start a website.
Eventually, he put out that fire. But another one started; online haters lashed at him with negative comments. Reading his story made me think.
Everything in life comes at a cost.
On the one hand, you want to upgrade your life and standards of living. So you take the tough path of chasing after a specific goal thinking that once you get to the crest of your desire, you’ll bask in incredible satisfaction.
And while that’s alluring, the truth is that the path towards success is laced with thorns that can bruise and make you give up. They come in the form of rejection, negative comments, and public embarrassment.
For every forward step you make, there’ll always be forces pulling you five steps back, if you let them. The key to keeping going lies in your ability to handle this without allowing it to break you.
I’ve walked on that thorny path before and have learned a few strategies for dealing with nasty comments and rejections.
If you find it impossible to beat rejection, there are strategies that can help you develop a thick skin and keep pushing towards your life mission.
1. Embrace This Insightful Truth.
More often, rejection is usually less about you and more about the other person. At times, people reject and throw nasty comments because you’re onto something good. Something they wish they had.
You challenge them when you do something they’ve always wanted to do but have never mustered the courage. Rejection is merely a projection of insecurities.
Once you realize this insightful truth, you can cut them some slack and let their nastiness roll off quickly.
Other times, people reject you for no apparent reason. In a world of over 7 billion people, surely there will be someone who hates your guts - and that’s okay.
Knowing this gives you thick skin. When you learn to expect it, there are no nasty surprises down the road.
That’s the beauty of it. When you’re no longer burdened with trying to win the affection of everyone, you can be much happier and focus on people who actually like you. As Harvey Mackay writes;
Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don’t base your self-esteem on their opinions.
At times, we were too focused on changing the minds of people who don’t open their hearts that we miss out on those whose arms are always open and inviting.
2. Strengthen Your Faith Muscles.
Isn’t it sad that our self-belief fluctuates so much? One day it feels as if the world is on your feet, and the next, you feel so incredibly inferior and incapable.
In 2019, self-doubt ambushed me continuously like a thief in the night as I transitioned through leaving my job, moving to a country halfway across the world.
I doubted my decision, and the ability to cope with the challenges of starting a new life from scratch. I learned that overcoming self-doubt is a daily struggle.
As long as you’re working towards a goal in life, you’ll battle this constantly. And the only way to overcome this is to affirm yourself daily. Building faith in yourself begins by seeing yourself differently from how others see you.
This means identifying strong points. At times these are things you normally overlook because they come easily to you. Acknowledging your strengths is self-affirming. It builds faith.
To build faith, avoid setting overly high standards for yourself. This is a trap that many ambitious people fall into because they're continually aiming higher.
The truth? There will always be someone who does something better than you, and that’s fine.
Learn to focus on what you can do and stick with that. When you have sincere faith in your abilities to succeed, rejection, negative comments, and the fear of embarrassment can’t stick on you.
3. Shut the Doors.
A reader recently left a very nasty comment in my article, but I stopped it from doing the harm it was intended to. I clicked away.
Had I allowed myself to get sucked in that dark hole of gloom and doom, I’d have felt pretty terrible, and the person could have won.
You’re not a dumpster.
You don’t have to absorb everything mean thing people dump on you, nor do you have to react to every emotion that comes up. You do have a choice in how you respond, and keep your energy from leaking.
Know which things to slam the door on.
That door could be your inner critic whispering that you aren’t as capable or intelligent as you think. That’s why you’re rejected. Listening to these voices opens doors for low self-esteem and self-respect.
Shut the doors.
The next time you’re rejected, stop for a minute and breathe. Realize that you can’t be everyone’s darling and that’s totally fine. Pat yourself on the back because it’s highly likely that you’re onto something fantastic.
Acknowledge your strengths. Repeat words of affirmation until they become braided in your conscience.
Most importantly, know the doors to keep shut. Do this often, and rejection, nasty comments, and public embarrassment will roll off easily.
You’ll be unstoppable as you continue to rise towards your endeavors.