4 Reasons to Practice Solitude After Self-Isolation Is Over
Benefits of solitude to your mental health and relationships
Solitude is a state of being alone. Alone doesn’t mean lonely, but it’s easy to mix these two. In our society, being alone is associated with mental disorders, a dysfunctional relationship with the world, and oneself. But why being with yourself, your one true self is criticized?
I know we’re social beings, and we need human connection, but why we don’t treat a relationship with oneself as one of the essential connections? After all, you are the only person in the world that follows you from the moment you’re born until the end.
The current situation and strict social distancing requirements showed how difficult it is for us to be alone. Just be. Without calling friends, watching TV series, or scrolling a news feed. We get so entangled with our routines, friendships, and relationships, work, and obligations that we forget to check in with ourselves and make sure that everything is okay down there. When we were forced to do so, many saw how terrible we are at being alone.
I’m an introvert, and I can’t live without at least a little bit of time just for myself. Alone from everyone and social distractions. Of course, being locked away from the outside world for two months isn’t healthy, and it affects my mental health, but I think that we should see solitude as a healing ritual. I don’t mean you should go to the wild for a month without saying a word, but a few hours a week just for yourself can be transformational.
Throughout history, solitude or being alone was portraited as a punishment. If a person does something wrong, they get expelled from the community, or they’re locked in a tiny prison cell.
On the contrary, we know that solitude can be transforming, but not for everyone, only for a few chosen ones. Here comes Buddha, Jesus, Moses. Only by being expelled from the community, they managed to find the universal truth and lead millions. So, if engaging in solitude can be eye-opening, then why we, ordinary people, can’t practice it.
Being in solitude with myself helps calm my mind and look at things more rationally. But there’s the whole science behind solitude affirming numerous benefits of the alone time.
Benefits of Solitude
You clear your head and make a better judgment
Being in solitude requires you to remove distractions and just be with yourself, which means you have to stop for a moment. When we get a chance to stop and focus on what’s happening inside our minds, we then understand how we’re genuinely feeling. No one influences us, therefore, we can make better decisions.
It happens to me that I make a decision, and after a while, I realize that it doesn’t benefit me, and instead, it serves others. It doesn’t make me happy, but I didn’t recognize that because I didn’t take time to figure it out. Solitude calms your mind, which is critical to understand the value of your decisions and the way they affect you.
You improve a relationship with oneself
Before, I wrote about building a relationship with yourself and how good it feels when we finally are able to find peace in being alone. Solitude can be a step forward to knowing yourself better. Have you ever asked yourself — how do you truly feel about yourself? For instance, I thought I had a great relationship with myself, only until something wrong would happen, and I would put all the blame and pressure on myself.
In solitude, you spend quality time with yourself and get closer to treating yourself like a dear friend. Trust me — it’s not that boring. First, you can start by spending a few hours alone, eating dinner without scrolling a phone or watching a show. Then you might feel comfortable going for a walk alone and maybe even taking yourself on a date. Engaging in solitude rewards you by showing new sides of yourself.
You improve relationships with others
When we learn to be kind to ourselves, then we can be truly open to others. When I have unresolved issues with myself, they reflect on my friendships and relationships with others. If something is bothering me with myself, I would be searching for the same flaws in others and blaming them for it. But if I get to spend time alone, I can identify what’s truly bothering me, and stop blaming others.
Also, solitude allows us to see which relationships serve us and which don’t. We get used to people being around without thinking whether they’re a good match for us. Sometimes, a relationship just stops serving us, we outgrow it, change, but keep pushing ourselves to fit into the old version. But it just doesn’t work, and solitude helps realize that.
It sparks creativity
Our minds are always busy with conventional ways of dealing with our lives. We don’t question them, we just do it. In solitude, we identify problems and enable our minds to find their way to a solution. Without social boundaries and influence from others, we find the best and the most creative ways to express ourselves and help improve our lives.
For me, solitude helps deal with FOMO (fear of missing out). I often catch myself being distracted by people doing things their way, and I want to do it, too. In the end, there are so many different ways that I can’t choose one. I get lost because instead of delving into my own decisions, I was following someone else’s.
In times, when social status, number of friends define our worth, it’s difficult just to sit alone and do nothing. Now, when being alone is our biggest enemy, and with longer social confinements, the solitude becomes a curse word — we shouldn’t forget that it’s for us. Finding peace and joy in your company by doing nothing is the true relationship. A relationship that builds a foundation for everything else in our lives.
