One of the hardest things about dating is rejection. You dress up, go out to meet a stranger and maybe that person isn’t attracted to you. And this can hurt. But, it’s also par for the course when 99% of dates probably won’t end up being your life partner anyway.
So, it’s best to develop a healthy context about rejection so you don’t let it stop you from finding love. Here are 5 tips:
Don’t Reject Yourself In the Process
It’s important to like yourself and to remember the valuable things you can offer a partner. Just like in a job interview, they may hire someone else for but this doesn’t mean that you’re not wonderful and excellent at what you do. You just need to keep looking for the right fit and sometimes that’s timing.
It’s Probably Not About You
In my first book, ‘Dating from the Inside Out’ I discuss how often we’re attracted to dates who unconsciously remind us of our opposite-sex parent.
So, if you’re you’re very complimentary and shy but your date’s mom was aggressive and critical, he may not be attracted to you because you aren’t like his mom!
Why someone rejects you often is more about them- their unconscious blueprint, psyche and what they find familiar. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t terrific!
Dating is a Numbers Game
We think that lifetime love should come quickly and easily, like in the movies. But today you may have to write 15 online dates before arranging a meeting. Normalizing these odds will remind you that most singles have to do their due diligence.
The 3 Date Rule:
Do You Reject People Too Quickly? If there are no red flags, it’s good to give everyone 3 dates. You may be dismissing prospects too quickly.
If you don’t like to be rejected, maybe you should consider whether you say ‘no’ to dates due to preconceived notions. Is it possible that you could be wrong?
You could be passing over someone great without taking the time to really get to know them.
Is there a Dating Pattern That Holds You Back?
Although rejection often isn’t about you, there are times when dating provides an opportunity to learn about yourself. Many of us have defensive dating styles that protect us from getting hurt in love and these can push people away.
Some daters become overly critical or can appear cold or needy.
I describe 15 defensive dating styles in, ‘Dating from the Inside Out’ It can be helpful to consider what you unconsciously do that may push love away. The one thing you can change is yourself so it pays to become conscious of any fears that hold you back.
Sometimes those holdbacks are signs that you’re not emotionally available and this can cause dates not to move a potential relationship forward.
If you’re looking for love, check out my upcoming book about using the new Facebook dating platform, Facebook Dating: from 1st Date to Soulmate.