8 Amazing Benefits of Putting Yourself First

A roadmap to empowering yourself.

Leah Njoki
Jun 2, 2020 · 7 min read

eal and lasting change first begins with a stirring in your soul.

But more precisely, on the day you allow yourself to be a sophomore again — not within the confines of a wall — but in the classroom deep within you.

Because this is where real transformational knowledge is found.

When you begin to self-reflect, you’ll be able to understand yourself better and pull back the masks of your self-limiting beliefs.

You’ll outrun the delusions of your inadequacy, and redesign the elements of your life that are screaming for change.

This habit of carving out time to connect with yourself is essentially putting yourself first. It’ll change you in the following amazing ways:

1. You’ll become independent

“If you want a thing done well, do it yourself.”― Napoleon Bonaparte

If you think life is hard, try imagining how it must have felt for our ancestors. Their lives were far much harder than yours is. Imagine having to get up at the break of dawn to go hunting a deer for dinner. No deer. No dinner.

Sounds like fun? Probably not.

Our ancestors would definitely frown upon us because we’ve surrounded our lives with quick fixes, and have forgotten the thrill of unearthing solutions by scouring through problems.

We’ve dimmed down our ability to sit, evaluate, and fix our problems. Instead, we find it easier to run from them. As such, we’ve become dependent on others, systems, and the government.

Fortunately, there’s a way to reverse this.

It all starts when you put yourself first.

This way, you begin to understand yourself better. You start to feel the pulse of your latent potential and even pick up on sparks of strengths you never thought you possessed.

When you look deep within, the cradle of your problems starts to swim in focus. And when they finally float to the surface, then you’re able to analyze what you need to do less of and what you need to double down on.

This is the first and crucial step to unraveling the solutions that could potentially change your life.

2. You’ll become a good communicator

“Communication is one of the most important skills you require for a successful life.” — Catherine Pulsifer

It’s a fact that communication is what shapes the world. Thus, you stand better chances of going farther in life if you’re a better communicator.

Communication helps you to represent and sell yourself to others. And the manner at which you execute it determines how others receive and treat you in return.

But you already knew that.

What’s normally overlooked though, is the importance of the communication we have with ourselves — which fundamentally — is the most crucial.

The kind of communication you have with the person in the mirror makes the difference between fading into the shadows of your failures or stepping into the light of your dreams.

But let’s get one thing clear.

To effectively communicate with yourself, you’ll need to be able to listen to yourself. If you can master that, it’ll be so easy for you to identify the triggers and filters that color your judgment.

This means that when you communicate with others, you’ll become more open to their perspectives because you’ve learned how to separate your assumptions and judgments.

This approach will make you a communicator who is open-minded, attentive, approachable, and engaging.

3. You’ll become resilient

Times of crisis and turbulence comes to the best of us. None is immune.

But the real litmus test of overcoming comes down to how swiftly we can stand up, dust ourselves off, and get back to the game of life.

Sadly, most of us spend many days in the wishing well of life reminiscing the good old days.

Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be this way.

“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” ― Nelson Mandela

You see, when you learn how to immerse yourself in self-reflection, you’ll be able to tap into a power that will not only help you get back on your feet, but it’ll also resurrect your dreams.

This is because the process of self-reflection will trigger an inner awareness that’ll help you become attuned to your strengths and weaknesses.

Your emotional agility will also be harnessed in the same way.

So when a crisis comes knocking, you’ll be better equipped, not just to stand strong, but also to bounce back faster.

4. You’ll become a better lover

Every thriving and blossoming relationship has one common thread running through. This thread is best defined as self-reliance.

Self-reliant individuals have many traits but their most admirable one is the capacity to nourish themselves.

If you desire to be in a thriving relationship, you’ll need to learn how to nourish yourself.

“Don’t forget to pause and nourish yourself a bit along the way. When you’re born to help others sometimes you forget to help yourself.”― Paula Heller Garland

However, self-nourishment only occurs when you put yourself first.

When you figure out what your needs are, and how to take care of them instead of neglecting them.

When this becomes a thing you do effortlessly, you’ll know exactly what to do when your inner reservoir starts to run low.

As you do that, you’ll become empowered in your own validation as opposed to seeking it from your partner. This is what you want to happen for your relationship to blossom.

But more than that, it’s a win-win for you and your partner.

This is because it not only absolves your partner of the responsibility of making you feel worthy and valuable, but it also ensures that when you pour yourself into your relationship, you do it from a place of wholeness.

5. You’ll become happy

We’re living at a time when anxiety and stress are at an all-time high. Look around, it seems as if happiness has drawn further and further from our reach.

It hasn’t.

It’s still possible to be happy. The reality is, a life that’s both peaceful and fulfilling is still very much within your reach.

But it’ll require you to spend time with yourself and work through the obstacles standing between you and your happiness.

As you do this, you’ll discover a certain degree of emotional maturity and stability. What this means is that you’ll no longer be swayed by every whiff of emotion that blows your direction.

Because you’ll understand that your emotions are transient, like the waves of the ocean.

You’ll not only know how to exercise control over negative thoughts but you’ll also create positive ones to completely eradicate stress and anxiety.

When you finally get to this point, happiness then becomes easily achievable.

6. You’ll become a genuine friend

We all glide into the world with a propensity to jealousy. As such, genuine friendships are few and far between.

Genuine friendships are formed by individuals who truly believe in themselves. The only way you’ll become a genuine friend is when you start to connect with yourself.

You’ll begin to acknowledge how amazingly unique you are. You’ll learn to embrace your gifts, talents, potential, and strengths.

Because you’ll no longer be locked in a cage of comparison and competition, your energy and focus will now be channeled towards attaining your heart’s desires.

With jealousy no longer in the picture, you’ll transform into a genuine friend and clear the path for meaningful, authentic, and lasting friendships.

7. You’ll become confident

When you take time to connect with yourself, you’ll without a doubt develop inner growth.

It’s simply unavoidable.

That inner growth will then transmute into confidence. Which is amazing because it means you’ll longer ripple in the wind of the opinions of others.

And with that comes great freedom.

Other superficial standards such as material successes and popularity will begin to fade from your life.

Because you’ll now understand you’re enough — your flaws notwithstanding. When you start to feel that shift, it’ll put a spring in your step because it’ll transform your self-esteem, happiness, and confidence.

As you become comfortable in your own skin, you’ll feel empowered to keep moving your life forward by making the best of what you already have.

8. You’ll become successful

“To find yourself, think for yourself.” - Socrates

All successful people put themselves first. Their lives are shaped around non-negotiable practices.

Take Oprah Winfrey for instance, she’s always been an avid reader. She also lit the world on fire with her gratitude journaling habit.

Or Tony Robbins perhaps, who also swears by his morning meditation.

Whether it’s morning prayers, reading, journaling, meditation, or yoga, one thing is clear; these practices do something to propel these individuals notches higher in the ladder of success.

This thing is a heightened self-awareness.

When you know yourself, it’s easy to draft a vision for your life.

The moment you form a clear picture of what your best life looks like, it’ll ignite a sparkle of determination and add a fire in your belly.

But that’s not all.

When you understand yourself, you’ll be better placed to comprehend the operation of your body. You’ll be able to control your productivity and efficiency and this will greatly empower you to become successful.

Putting yourself first is not a selfish endeavor. It’s a culture that you need to incorporate into your way of life. This is how you continue to empower yourself.

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Leah Njoki

Written by

Dreamer&Fitness Enthusiast | Writer on Love, Relationships & Self-Improvement| Featured on The Good Men Project, Thought Catalog, Ladders|Blog: ownyourspark.com

Live Your Life On Purpose

Get Purpose. Get Perspective. Get Passion.

Leah Njoki

Written by

Dreamer&Fitness Enthusiast | Writer on Love, Relationships & Self-Improvement| Featured on The Good Men Project, Thought Catalog, Ladders|Blog: ownyourspark.com

Live Your Life On Purpose

Get Purpose. Get Perspective. Get Passion.

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