9 Habits of People Who Practice Radical Self Love
Each of these habits will improve your life, and empower you in your self-love journey
After three years of practicing radical self-love, I’ve found that it comes down to nine essential habits. These habits form the basis of a healthy self-care routine and allow you to become the top version of yourself.
They make time to practice gratitude
Gratitude changes the way we look at life and the situations we find ourselves in. It changes our mindset from negative to positive. Even on the roughest days, we can still find something to be grateful for.
With the job that you hate going to, there is a stable paycheck. In the middle of a traffic jam, there is a chance to find ten extra minutes to read a book that might change our mindset. In a season of loss, there are those who stand by us and support us.
I’m not going to say that things are always rosy. We deal with real things: death, loss, and hard situations that come up in everyday life. However, only focusing on the negative will drag us down.
Thinking of at least 3–5 things that are going right flips the script. It helps us to attract more peace, love, and goodness into our lives. Focusing on what we are grateful for invites more of those things into our lives.
They make time for silence
We all have many things that pull at our attention. There’s the work demands, the significant other and family that we don’t want to ignore, the hobbies we want to get better at, not to mention the demands of those around us.
It’s a busy world and our minds are likely to go fifty miles an hour or more. Silence is a powerful form of self-care because it temporarily takes us out of these circumstances...
It can take the form of meditation, finding five minutes to just breathe or pray. This time slows us down, helps us refocus, and gives us a break that allows us to relax before entering a busy day or situation.
We can use these minutes to fuel ourselves to respond more peacefully to the outside stimuli when we get back to it.
They forgive easily, especially themselves
We all make the best decisions we can at the time depending on what life throws at us. However, sometimes we get the decision wrong. We hold this against ourselves harder than anyone else does.
We hold our mistakes, misdeeds, and even the smallest imperfection tight. We are more likely to believe the bad things we say about ourselves than the good things that we should be believing about ourselves.
Take time on a daily basis to evaluate anything that you are holding against yourself. These are the things that we need to let go of. The process of letting go might not seem easy, but it is essential in moving forward.
Forgiving others also allows us more freedom, brain space, and energy once the grudge has been lifted. We don’t have to carry the luggage with us. We can let go of the situations and feelings that weigh on us.
The best practice that I’ve come across is: writing down a person’s (or our) transgressions against us, scratching them out and writing canceled. To forgive, we need to know what we are forgiving for, cancel the debt, and then remind ourselves when it comes back up that we’ve forgiven others (and ourselves).
Want more freedom and heart space without so much stress? Try forgiving yourself and those around you. You’ll free up energy and drain the toxic energy we carry with us.
They keep a journal
There are so many forms of journals that help us along with our self-care and development journey. A few examples:
- A compliment journal- this is a journal of things that we love about ourselves and get compliments on. It’s nice to be able to reflect on a hard day of all these things. Whenever you feel proud of yourself or receive a compliment, jot it down. Come back to it as often as needed
- A goals journal- this is where we track the progress of our goal journey. It is where we can write honest thoughts and keep visualizing what it will be like when we hit our goals. I recommend writing down your goals and dreams, document important events and thoughts as they happen, and write reflection of progress.
- A bullet journal- to keep projects and thoughts organized. Easily customizable for the things that we need to remember and keep track of. Make pages for ideas of things you want to write, try or read. Make pages for goals and dreams. Make pages for the things you need to remember. Customize to your heart’s desire
- A quotes journal- quotes that remind you of important principles and inspire you.
They set healthy boundaries and live simply
In practicing radical self-care, we learn where our energy goes. This allows us to be protective of our energy: not engaging in drama, knowing when enough is enough of anything (food, possessions, overcommitments, clutter, etc). Choose to live simply by creating simple systems that work for current situations and goals. Find simple rules for working.
By practicing self-care, we learn how to refuel- what helps us to feel full versus what makes us feel empty. Knowing these things helps us to develop a strategy when we feel empty and helps us to have a few different ways to refuel.
They listen to their intuition.
That voice inside of you that gives you the wisdom that you wouldn’t have known otherwise or confirms what we already know. It speaks when we allow ourselves to be quiet enough to hear it, whether that’s during journaling, during meditation, or during just periods of silence. Learn to listen to her and she will guide you into what is right for you and what you need to learn to take better care of yourself.
Intuition can save you from mistakes that you might be making and choices you will regret. It will also let you know when something is off, which prepares you for change. Finally, she often just leads you in a direction that you may not have thought of before, but will change your mind and life and will save you time, energy, and emotions.
Courtney Carver is my favorite wellness blogger/minimalist. She developed a practice called the heart practice. Every so often, she lights a candle, holds her hands over her heart in a gesture of “I got you” and asks her heart questions so she can hear the heart’s wisdom.
These questions can revolve around changes that need to be made, where you’re being true to yourself and what you need more or less of in your life. I love this practice and have used it every year in planning my new year’s resolutions. I let my heart tell me what’s next and what is going to be important in the next 12 months.
They develop a morning routine
The morning routine will depend on your style and what you find to be fulfilling. There are a variety of routines out there to try, the key is to keep trying until you find the one that works for you. Give yourself three months to develop the habit and see where it leads you.
The ideal morning routine feeds your body, your mind, and your soul. It does not need to be a routine based on someone else’s established routine, just choosing 2–3 activities and practicing for a few minutes per day will change your entire day.
They are honest with themselves
They are honest with themselves- they know when something feels off-kilter or when they haven’t done their best. They learn from their experiences. They learn what is holding them back and put forth the effort to change and get better. Being honest with themselves also requires acknowledging what they did right and what they are proud of. It fosters more of this behavior.
They focus on what they can give to others because they know that giving is the gift.
When you give, you get double blessed- you open the door for things that want to come into your life and you also get to see the joy that exists because you were willing to give- a part of yourself, a possession or just some time. It changes others and will change your life in the process.
These nine practices have the potential to be life-changing, used on their own, or combined together. Radical self-care and development is an ongoing process where it takes work, effort, and enough love for yourself to develop into your best version possible. It takes a lot of reflection, a lot of heart and a lot of deep down work to live your best life and be connected to yourself, but it’s worth the effort.
Take five minutes a day to develop each habit, it will not be time wasted. You’re going to find more freedom, peace, and joy when you practice each of these challenges. They allow you to become stronger, more powerful, and able to reach your self-care goals faster than you may have originally thought possible.