A Success Theory: How to Measure Self-Worth
My Success Story: How to Measure Self-Worth
We are constantly told by the media, that we’re special, we live in a time when we can become the change of the world. We only need to innovate, be creative, be outgoing and think out of the box. Although motivating me during my teenage years, all this now sounds like blah blah blah…
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not depressed, or demotivated. Neither am I arrogant. I try to be very pragmatic about life. I’m still quite young, not even 30 years old yet. Like for most of you, life has been very kind to me at some times and very cruel at others. I have a very challenging, yet (or should I say “and”?) quite satisfying job as a Product Manager at TruePublic and I have been involved in the creation and improvement of many great ideas at my former job at SFL.
I have been pitching to investors, teaching and mentoring, consulting startups, participating in important talks with important people (at least on the level of Armenia). Do I consider myself hyper-creative? Super innovative? Over entrepreneurial? No. Do I consider myself successful? Yes. Definitely.
There are many tactics on how to measure success. It can start with admiration from the close ones, and go up to the number of digits in the bank account. But for me the answer is very simple: how do I feel with myself.
As an employee at SFL, I have been given the honor to be involved in hiring activities for various positions multiple times. No matter the position we were hiring for, one important criterion stayed the same for me.
I ask myself one simple question at the end of each interview: if I were the CEO of a company with strengths and weaknesses of SFL, would I hire the person sitting at the opposite side of the table? So far the decisions I have made based mainly on this gut feeling have proven to be more than satisfactory. Everything else doesn’t even matter most of the time.
So why not turn this metric at ourselves?
At the moments of both triumphs and failures, I ask myself whether I would hire myself as an employee. Sometimes the answer is negative. But I make sure to do my best and adjust my actions to change it to a strong YES.
You may think the objectivity of this approach is questionable. For some, it may truly be so. People are either inclined towards self-criticism or overconfidence. However, if you look at it from a different perspective, you can make it as objective as it can get on this level. Who knows what you are capable of better than you?
Just think about the cases when you have performed much better than average, but still were unsatisfied with yourself. People watching you give a speech don’t really know how much better or worse you could’ve made it. They can only compare to the other speeches they heard and form their own subjective opinion. They either like it or they don’t. But you are a different case: you know what you’re truly capable of (e.g. because you have given better speeches when practicing in front of the mirror or giving your class a presentation).
The best part about keeping this approach objective is that if you become arrogant, you won’t “hire” yourself. If you become overconfident, you will fail. And vice versa, if you become overwhelmed with baseless self-criticism, you will get positive feedback, a raise or apprehension to put you back on your wheels to run for a better future.
It’s a continuous process, sometimes with many areas needing improvement at a time. But it worked for me. So why not give it a try?
It’s not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.
Sir Edmund Hillary
The most important part here is to focus on your short-term goals. This way you will get feedback soon enough and will be able to make changes to your approach. These goals, of course, should take you towards the bigger one in the long run, but they should be small enough for you to be flexible and to benefit from a moment of sadness or glory of failing or succeeding at meeting a goal quite often.
In the end, the goal of this life is not to rush and get the most of it. It is not always on top. It should not be counted in the number of enterprises you have established, startups you have cofounded or patents you are holding. These are merely means of feeling better about yourself.
The ultimate goal of life is to enjoy yourself, develop the skills you need to do so and, most importantly, notice the value of what you’re doing and the tiny change you’re bringing to the world. Even things as ‘little’ as the smiles on your loved ones’ faces when you say you love them matter.
Don’t get depressed over the fake idea of success featured in the media so much. Put realistic short-term goals in front of you, get happy by getting them done, and fight for your happiness to stay as you move towards your long-term goals! Good luck ;)
P.S. Btw, if you’re struggling with the social media happiness bias just as much as anyone out there, make sure to check out TruePublic. Among other useful and interesting data, you’ll see that not everyone is as happy and successful as they want to seem. For instance, over a quarter of 14k respondents have mentioned being depressed within the past month ;)
P.P.S. If you’re already using TruePublic, please check our Product Hunt page and show us some love there!
This is a slightly modified version of an article originally published on my LinkedIn account.
