Boundaries: What Needs to Be Said
When you realize these things — your mindset will never be the same.
If you don’t like people, does that mean you don’t like yourself?
Not necessarily, but that question could make you think a little.
People just ain’t “it” for me. From trash opinions to unexplained feelings, human beings just suck.
It makes me not want to take my chances and socialize.
Unfortunately, people make the world go round, and human needs must be filled.
Last year I experienced and had to accept that you must set boundaries, but most importantly respect other people's boundaries.
You can have the best intentions, but if a person doesn’t want you in their life to a certain extent — you must accept that and respect the boundary set.
The term boundary when referring to the non-physical type is so vague yet understood if used in normal conversation.
I’m about to write in detail about what’s understood but rarely discussed.
Boundaries explained by a guy in his 20s
If your looking for a textbook definition, go google it.
Boundaries are basically physical or mental walls put up by an individual to protect their peace.
That’s how I would sum it up, but you literally can create and label whatever you think a boundary is.
One mental boundary I had until I got into my 20s was not accepting anything that opposed my religion. As sensitive as discussing religion can be, all I can say is that my mind was blown once I stop believing what I thought was absolute.
Despite me just talking about how dropping a boundary changed my life, having boundaries is necessary — they’re a double-edged sword.
If I hadn’t had that religious block on my mental growing up, who knows how out of tune my moral compass would have been.
Not having boundaries can cause things to happen without you even realizing it.
Imagine letting something slide because you logically figure it’s not a big deal. You let that certain thing happen on multiple occasions and suppress your feelings on the matter.
One day that thing that wasn’t such a big deal might turn into you exploding on someone who never knew it bothered you — this could have been avoided if you would have just spoken up.
It feels weird talking about feelings
It’s uncomfortable to talk about how you feel, but If you’re going to set a boundary — you need to communicate that boundary when necessary.
It becomes frustrating when someone keeps pushing their limits and they aren’t taking the hint to stop.
“Stop doing that.”
“Relax, that’s not cool.”
“I don’t mess with that.”
Be comfortable telling people how you want to be treated, and respectfully ask people if certain things are okay.
“Do you mind?”
“Is it okay to talk about it?”
“Does that bother you.”
These things are important to maintain a great relationship with someone.
What irritates me the most?
We’re all probably guilty of thinking the world revolves around us.
Well, you don’t literally believe everything is about you — but you don’t realize that’s how you’re coming off.
It is what it is.
Some situations you just don’t know until explained. If someone is ignoring all of your calls and text messages, but you see them tweeting and posting Facebook statues — you have a right to feel some type of way.
Even though the typical human reaction is to think about why that person hates you at that moment, we all need to think rationally and realize that everything isn’t about us.
If someone is ignoring you and you know for a fact that you did nothing that could offend them, you need to relax and give that person some time to get back to you.
It irritates me most when people get deep in their feelings about not getting attention from someone.
Take a step back and respect their boundaries.
Next time you’re wondering why someone doesn’t like you and thinking about every reason why you’re awesome — think again.
Give the situation some time and then check-in.
Stay blessed!
- JC
