Check…Check…1…2…3…Am I Doing This Right?
I have all of the secrets to success.
I’ve read the manuscripts.
I’ve watched the videos.
I’ve studied the greats, the second-bests, and even the “losers.”
I have read more books and consumed more pep talks for non-linear success than my small bookshelf can hold.
I know what I am supposed to do. But how much does knowing all the secrets actually matter?
Lessons from Humans Of New York’s Brandon Stanton
Brandon, once had a big interview for a Wall Street job. Long before HONY came to be, Brandon was still doing normal people things like you and I — like applying for jobs.
He managed to get an interview for a big job. So, he set his mind on getting that job.
He spent a month preparing for the interviews. He read piles of books, practiced, practiced, practiced, and devoted dozens of hours preparing for the interviews.
He got the job.
My turn.
I had a big interview for a Silicon Valley job. I was extremely surprised to be getting an interview for a job that seemed like a major league move.
I remembered Brandon’s story and his month of preparation and I decided to swing for the fences as well.
I had 3-weeks to prepare. So, I ordered all the books, sat down and made a roadmap to landing my job at this company and scoured the internet for any mention of the job and its interviews.
I even contacted over 50 people who could add their voice to my journey to securing the amazing job and nailing the interviews (including a referral from inside the company).
I spent hours and hours reading, memorizing, planning, practicing, and even conducted dozens of mock interviews.
I didn’t even pass the first interview (out of 5 total interviews).
Lessons from Warren Buffet’s journey to Benjamin Graham’s mentorship.
Everything pointed toward Harvard.
Warren Buffet wanted a Harvard MBA. It was in his sights and he put in the work to achieve the milestone.
After a dozen hours on various trains, he arrived at his interview with the Harvard Alum who would be assessing his fit and capacity for Harvard.
He came ready, after all, he is Warren Buffet.
After 20-minutes, the Alum told him flatly, “You will not be attending Harvard Business School.”
Buffet had 12 long hours of train rides returning home to consider his life and the rejection he faced. To make matters worse, his father was intent on him getting an MBA from Harvard but Buffet was now returning with news to disappoint one of his life-long hero’s.
Buffet turned to other options, heard that Benjamin Graham was teaching at Columbia and the rest is history.
My turn.
One 20-minute phone call killed the weeks upon weeks of momentum I had been building through tireless preparation.
My big break ended up closing on me.
So, I picked up the pieces of my cracked pride and began to think about my other options.
Just like Buffet pivoted from his main target and pursued another, so I am pivoting to pursue the next thing regardless of the sudden, brutal murder of my top goals.
Just like Brandon Stanton spent weeks preparing for his opportunity, I put in weeks of effort for a single interview. But things did not work out for me. So, I took a page from Buffet’s book and pressed on.
My point?
Am I doing this right?
I probably have an anecdote for close to every situation I will ever encounter. There are a thousand stories of success and failure to influence my decision-making process regardless of the direction I take.
On top of all of that advice is the prevailing theme of countless successful people: don’t listen to the naysayers. The majority of the success stories we look to are a product of long stretches of refusing to listen to those who say “you can’t” or “you shouldn’t.”
So, is the real secret to merely ignore everyone who speaks against what I believe in and press forward for years on end?
Whether I go left or I go right, there will always be a voice to say it is right or a voice to say it is wrong.
So…is this what I am supposed to do?
Am I to learn as much as I can from others and apply their lessons where it seems applicable in my life while also ignoring those who try to detract from my progress?
Is this how it’s done?
Or, is the true secret to it all to just keep swimming?
Did Pixar Dory reveal the true secret to the universe?
Would I be better off if I had just internalized Dory’s timeless lesson and foregone the hundreds of hours spent reading about others’ lives?
No one has the answer.
The more I learn, the clearer it becomes: no one has the answer.
But that is rather paradoxical to argue, is it not?
If I say that the answer is that “no one has the answer” then according to my own reasoning you should not necessarily believe the answer that I put forth…
Which leads me to believe that perhaps it is not about who has the answer but rather about what answer you choose to accept.
Was Kanye right when he said that we create our own reality?
Ben Horowitz — multiple realities.
In high school, Ben was both an athlete and an academic.
He had the unique opportunity of existing within two very different worlds simultaneously.
“It amazed me how a diverse perspective utterly changes the meaning of every significant event in the world.
For instance, when Run-D.M.C.’s Hard Times album came out, it sent an earthquake through the football team, but not even a ripple through my calculus class.
Ronald Reagan’s Strategic Defense Initiative was considered an outrage among young scientists due to its questionable technical foundation, but those aspects went unnoticed at the football practice.”
Some things that you consider significant are probably meaningless to someone else — so who is “right”?
Your own reality.
An interesting thing happens when you set out to learn beyond your comfort zone. You inevitably begin to engage with people who think differently than you do.
With this new thinking comes the realization that some things that you believe in, like what success means, what is important in a person’s day-to-day life, and what things are worthy of pursuing on a grand scale, are not universal.
Your current truth is not someone else’s truth (at least not always).
The more you explore outside your own immediate world the more you become aware of the decisions you are making that make you who you are.
What decisions are you making?
If no one has the answer then everyone has the answer.
Perhaps the most important part of being who you are is the power you have for making decisions.
What to believe.
Why the world is the way it is
Who is important enough to you to listen to.
If no one has the answer and therefore everyone has the answer and therefore no one has the answer…then clearly, everyone has the answer, including you.
And if everyone has the answer, then it is no longer about “finding the right answer.” Rather, it is about deciding what answer you will hold onto.
Warren Buffet — Brandon Stanton — Ben Horowitz — My Failed Interviews.
If making decisions is the most powerful part of being alive, then perhaps there is immense wisdom in spending hundreds of hours learning about the decisions of others.
For every life I read about, I have another way of understanding the decision in front of me.
The ability to draw on my knowledge of the success and failures of others must allow me to process problems in a more nuanced way.
A poor analogy for the sake of illustration:
Imagine you had to live your life answering only with “yes” or “no.”
No matter the situation, you could speak no more than either “yes” or “no.”
Now imagine that each time you read a book about someone else’s life, you added another word to your vocabulary.
Now you go about your day with three options, “yes,” “no” and “perhaps.”
In this world it is clearly in your interest to learn as many words as you can in order to greatly diversify the way you engage with the world.
You may not use every word every day, in fact, it would be foolish to try.
But the awareness of certain words at certain moments allows you to do the most powerful thing you are capable of, making decisions.
In conclusion…
No one has the answer and therefore everyone has the answer.
As contradictory as everyone’s advice seems it is actually one of the best ways of expanding your vocabulary (so to speak).
Your reality is shaped by your decisions and your decisions are therefore the most powerful aspect of the human that you are.
That was actually a good summary!
