Dog Gone It
When people who have never had a dog see their dog-owning friends mourn the loss of a dog, they probably think it’s all a bit of an overreaction, after all, “it’s just a dog.” I know this to be true because I used to think this way. However, after my beloved pug, Buddy passed away in January I knew the truth. Your pet is never “just a dog.”
Losing my dog was its own kind of sorrow, different from any I have felt before. My dog, my best furry friend, had given me everything he possibly could. AND NEVER EVER asked for anything in return in 15 years. Until the day he was telling me that “I’m old, tired, and I’m going to leave you very soon.” Soon was in five days.
It wasn’t sudden but gradual even though I knew he was 100 years old and that his systems were failing, it did not make the loss any easier. Those next five days were spent not in typical Buddy routine. We spent five gorgeous days together….I held him, loved on him and talked to him. Even though his breathing had become labored and he was losing control of his bowels, he still enjoyed all his meals.
He couldn’t get up, he was still breathing but barely breathing. He was lying right where I knew he would be, in the kitchen by his food and water bowls. He sat there (with my son and me) waiting for my husband to come home and then he looked into our eyes, smiled and told us “I’m done.” And he rested his sweet head on the palm of my husband’s hand. He was happy knowing he had taken good care of our family. 🙌🏻✨
Oh did he take care of our family. He was always present, yearning to be included, to be the center of everything we had going on with family activities. I’m quite sure Buddy thought he was human…he was definitely more human than dog.
The fond memories came rushing right back…driving around to local pet stores looking for THAT same dog in the ‘Men In Black’ movie to buy for a present for my son’s 8th birthday. I’ll never forget the day we found Buddy…low and behold there he was staring at us through the glass in that pet store crate at eight weeks old.
The rest is history as they say.
Buddy was our beloved pet that grew up with our family and friends. My daughter made a beautiful observation about longevity when she said… “Everyone knew Buddy from my first-grade friends to my sorority sisters in college.”
Our other pug, Duke (13) howled the night Buddy passed. He has done this a few times and it is his way of mourning the loss of his brother. Duke is doing fine learning to live without Buddy, establishing his own routine and forming a new little bond with our family. He enjoys daily walks, lots of love and treats.
Everyone deals with grief and loss differently. I didn’t know how I would handle things until that moment I lost Buddy. What I do know is that we try to hold off the loss. But loss is the price we must pay for love, and loving deeply.
It made me feel so vulnerable and reminded me that we are NOT IN CONTROL. Just in case you thought you were! Thank goodness we were created to bend and break which allows us to survive enormous suffering and pain. The shape of grief certainly does mold you. It forces you to sit beside loss and feel the pain engulfing you.
I have written down five Confetti confessions 🎉 that I learned/experienced after losing my pet. These are things no one told me about that I had to learn on my own. I’m wondering how many of you can relate to any of the following:
- When will I stop crying?🔺🔹🔸 They don’t tell you that after losing a pet you’ll cry. A lot. Uncontrollably. It is ok to feel vulnerable and let your emotions flow.
- You’ll think you see and hear your pet.🔹🔻🔸 You’ll panic for a moment…did I forget to feed him? Did I leave him outside? Is he sleeping by the couch? Where is he?
- There is no wrong way to grieve. 🔸🔺🔹 Pain is determined by the level of love and commitment you had for them. Let it flow at whatever speed you choose, but don’t let it get the best of you. In time, you will heal. The pain will subside. Everyone mourns their pets differently, but we can all agree it is an emotional rollercoaster.
- Death of a beloved pet is devastating for the other pet(s) in the home.🔻🔹🔸 It was important to return to ‘life as usual’ after the loss because dogs rely on consistency to feel safe and secure. Try to do your best to keep mealtimes, walks and daily activities on a steady schedule.
- Reaching out to others who have lost pets. 🔸🔹🔻Surround yourself with people who can relate to your pain. Seek out the people who you know get it. The ones you can talk to about what you miss about them, how great they were, or how you didn’t want to get out of bed for a few days knowing they were gone.
It’s true what they say - TIME is the greatest healer of all. Next month will be 6 months since my dog died. The difficult memories surrounding his death have faded. Those memories are still sad because my dog is no longer in our life, but I wouldn’t trade those good ‘ole days for anything and I bet you wouldn’t either.
A dog will only break your heart ONCE and that is when they leave this world for good. Just maybe…an old dog can teach us a new thing or two or three about life.
“Don’t ever apologize or feel silly about crying over a dog. When you lose your best furry friend you have every right to be vulnerable and heartbroken.”
~Kirsten Telan
