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Emotional Intelligence Is Not About Being ‘Nice’
It’s being assertive with how you feel, even if it won’t please others.
One of the common misconceptions I get is that emotional intelligence is about how to be nice to people.
It’s actually the opposite of that. Not in a mean or destructive way, but in a more assertive way that doesn’t allow others (or your own emotions) to take advantage of you.
It’s the ability to not let your emotions distract you from what you want to communicate. It’s the skill to manage conflicts both within yourself and with others to have a productive influence. It’s about aligning your words and actions with your feelings so they are congruent.
What it’s NOT is being nice just to please others and forgetting about yourself. It’s NOT just doing things for people only to get what you want. And it’s definitely NOT just saying things without also feeling them.
It’s Nice.. Until It’s Not
Being nice is nice and all, until it gets to the point where you’re sacrificing too much of yourself and not getting your own needs met.
It’s nice until you get too far into people-pleasing where it comes off manipulative or egotistical.
