Facing My Fashion Fears
I have no regrets.
I have a confession to make — I don’t have a good fashion sense. My go-to outfit for school is a plain t-shirt and a pair of high-waisted jeans. Somedays, I would wear a pair of denim shorts instead, but the t-shirt still remains.
This outfit gives me comfort and my unlovely body is hidden under all the fabric, showing less skin as possible. Meanwhile, the pretty girls in my school are wearing crop tops and short skirts, with the addition of a full face of makeup. Boys are swooning over them and the other girls are looking at them in pure envy.
However, the thought of turning 19 soon scares me. This means that I’m slowly approaching adulthood and I’ll no longer be a kid anymore. Surely, I have to upgrade myself soon. I don’t want to turn 25 and still dress like a 14-year-old child.
To begin the upgrading process, I started with something small. I bought a few sleeveless tops — the ones with the thin straps. I could never imagine myself wearing them because I hated how my thick my arms were. I felt that if I were to wear sleeveless tops, people would judge how my arms look and I was not very comfortable with that. However, my best friend loves to wear these. She looks amazing and I wanted to try them out too. I did not want to miss out on the experience.
So, I wore a sleeveless top for my best friend’s birthday. I was surprised by how confident I felt while wearing it. I was not caring about how people thought of me. I was so happy that I faced one of my fashion fears. After that, I wore more sleeveless tops to up my fashion game.
Ever since sleeveless tops, I felt that I was ready to go to the next level — short crop tops. A month ago, I saw a very cute black off-shoulder crop top online. It was very cropped. But, it was on sale and as the cheapskate in the family, I bought it. I’ve never worn anything like it before and I wanted to try something new. Crop tops are alright to me, as long as my stomach isn’t showing a lot. I’ve always worn high-waisted shorts or jeans to match with the top.
My stomach is my biggest body insecurity. I know I’m not fat but I’ve never had a flat stomach and I can be bloated very easily. As a girl, it sucks knowing that I don’t have a small waist like the models on the cover of fashion magazines. Without a small waist, there are a lot of clothing items that don’t flatter me. Crop tops are one of them, bodycon dresses are another too.
However, after seeing all the body positivity posts on Instagram, it encouraged me to let go of that insecurity. These Instagrammers made me realize that I can wear whatever I want and I don’t have to care what others think of me.
If they can do it, I can do it too.
So, I wore the black crop top with my dungaree. It showed my obliques and I felt so exposed. A gentle reminder — I don’t have any curves. I was so insecure but I told myself to just wear it for one night. I was heading out to town with my friend and I asked her if the outfit was okay.
She said that I looked fine and that there was nothing to worry about. Then, I asked my traditional Chinese mum for approval. To my surprise, she loved my outfit and asked me to be confident while wearing it. I thought that she would disapprove, due to the amount of skin that I was showing. But she didn’t.
With that spur of encouragement, I wore that outfit in public for the first time in my life.
At first, it was really scary. I felt so bare and naked. I was so used to hiding behind the comfort of my t-shirts and this was so new to me. I was paranoid, constantly looking behind my shoulder to see if anyone was staring at me with a pair of judgemental eyes. But there were none.
As the night went by, I began to loosen myself up. I focused on spending quality time with my friend and enjoying the delicious food we had for dinner. I was not so conscious of my body anymore. It became the least of my worries.
If I can do it, you can do it too.
If you have any fashion fears right now, face them. Don’t wait till you’re 80 to wear a crop top that you’ve always wanted to try. By then, it’ll be too late. Just like what I’ve mentioned in my latest article, “We Should Not Take Life For Granted”, life is too short. Wear what you like and don’t care what others think.
Trust me, it’ll be worth it.
