Overcoming Fear — Finding A Way Past A Powerful Instinct
And how can an act of trust help?
Introspect. Look into your own life. What do you see? When I look at myself, I see myself thinking, hoping and acting (doing). I also see things that scare me. Things that I am afraid of. Each of us has something that we find scary. That makes us think. Twice. Even more. Fear is powerful and there is nothing wrong about being afraid.
Wait. But, that’s not the point I am trying to make. Fear is a natural instinct. It is something that has been coded into our genetic system over thousands of years of evolution. There were times when we had to deal with unknown and fatal dangers on an everyday basis. Ancient times. We developed fear as an instinct that helped us anticipate and react to dangers.
Today, we have come a long way from those times and those ancient dangers. Time has changed, so have the dangers that we face and anticipate today. But, one thing has remained constant. Fear.
What stops us from taking risks (in career, in finance, in life)? Why do we overthink some decisions? At its twilight, what makes us regret a life not lived? What stops us from going a step further in a relationship? What stops us from being vulnerable? What stops us from lending a hand? What makes us wary of loss (of people and of things)?
Fear. Ironically, an instinct that saved us from dangers, has become a danger itself. As I said, fear is good. But, only when we do not let it overpower us. Only when we do not let our fear prevent us from taking progressive decisions in life. Only when fear doesn’t make us stop.
Knowing and anticipating possible problems in any course of action surely helps us in preparation and in becoming aware. And fear facilitates this. But, the role of fear should end there. Fear is supposed to be a catalyst to furthering the chances of progress and achievement. It is not supposed be an anti-catalyst that decelerates or hinders movement.
But, how do you overcome fear? How do you defeat an enemy that lives within? Of many possible things, try trust.
In a world of fortified boundaries, trust isn’t totally a lost cause yet. We know fear will always exist. Within. But, it can be overcome when we trust.
Sometimes we need to trust ourselves enough that despite all fears, we take a plunge, a leap and take the course to progress anyway. Of course, it is not easy. Unlike many things in life, taking decisive and path-breaking actions is unimaginably tough but, that’s the only way out of any situation that scares us and that demands action.
And at other times, we need to put our trust in people. Yes, the same people who might scare us because of various rational and irrational reasons, are the ones who can help us find a way past our fears, predicaments and also help us succeed. Of course, the choice of such people is ours. We are social animals for a reason. We need someone to lean on to.
By the simple act of trust, we can keep learning, keep progressing and keep acting while bringing the best out of our fears. And I guess that’s exactly why we need good friends too. Friends who we can lean on to and vice versa. Someone has rightly said —
Friends are all we have to get us through this life-and they are the only things from this world that we could hope to see in the next.
This also reminds me of what Rudyard Kipling elicited about fear—
Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears.
And that’s what we need to keep in mind. Most of our fears, insecurities, and hesitations are utter lies. They surely can be overcome but the question is — are we ready to take that leap?
