Feeling Stuck In Life? Maybe You’re Not Failing Enough
Scared to fail? This too could be a problem.
From an early age, we are taught that failure is the opposite of success. But the world isn’t black and white. Shutting the failure out of your life can do you more bad in both personal and professional environments.
The fear of failure can become a huge roadblock on the road to success. It results in waiting for a perfect moment and striving for perfection which is almost impossible to achieve. Besides that, it creates extra pressure on the person.
Take startups for example - 9 out of 10 startups fail. There are different reasons, but this is not the point. You would think that this statistic would stop entrepreneurs from diving into creating new ventures but every year the number of startups is growing.
The way to succeed is to double your failure rate. — Thomas Watson, Jr.
Entrepreneurs like no other people know the role and price of failure. The difference is that they treat failure as a learning experience.
But not all setbacks have to mean multi-million losses and devastation. Using smaller experiments can teach you the value of trial and error and provide the necessary information to make informed decisions. The same principles can work on a smaller scale in everyday life.
Learning process
We often see the end result of things in life but forget about the process. The road to success is rarely linear. The failure is an integral part of the process, but it’s not an enemy.
The key to using it to your own advantage is learning from the experience. A bad result is still a result.
The creative process relies a lot on the ability to test and experiment. Whether we are talking about art, business, personal development, daily life, or anything in between, there is always a place for experiment.
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. — Thomas A. Edison
Getting things wrong is scary, I’m not going to deny it. But if you don’t try, how do you know whether or not it will work out?
We need to learn to accept failure for the valuable experience that it gives us.
Let the things go wrong
It’s difficult to get rid of this paralyzing fear. I’m not entirely sure if it is possible to do it completely. But it is possible to create a controlled environment where it is okay to try.
Give yourself the space to make mistakes. Start a practice that allows you to try and deliberately do/make/create something bad. Get used to the imperfection. It can be as simple as doodling or writing as long as you allow the result to be bad.
Encourage experiments in your life. Try something without the need to be right. Analyze your doings, keep a track of results, and journal about what’s going on.
Do it to get over the fear of a blank canvas. Starting is especially hard. Once you see that it’s not as scary as you might have thought, it will get much easier to try new things.
Stop waiting for the perfect moment/idea/product. It is not coming. The more you try, the better your chances are to create something worthwhile.
Start with the mindset
Just because you failed it doesn’t mean that you are a failure. Let this thought sink in.
We gather information through trying from a very early age. Think about how children are learning to walk. They are literally falling on the ground all the time before they can cross a room, but no one gives up on them.
It’s later when we are told that failing is bad, that we should always get things right. These kinds of discouraging assertions make the idea of failure seem like a deciding moment in our lives later on.
To fully appreciate the process of learning and the value of experimentation we have to unlearn what we believe about failure first.
When it comes to investing in yourself, you can take the risk and go all in and there is a very good chance that it will pay off. But if you’ve never tried that certain skill (or interest, or project, whatever you call it) before, there is an equally good chance that you might not feel it.
Experimentation allows you to fail early (should you need it) and adjust your course. Trying is minimizing your risks and giving you a better idea of what you want in life.
Encourage yourself
In the book Failed It!: How to turn mistakes into ideas and other advice for successfully screwing up Erik Kessels explores the power of making mistakes and celebrates the power of imperfection. He argues that mistakes can indeed be a source of inspiration and ignite the creative process.
“Because making mistakes, flirting with disaster and pure outright failure is how you get better. Without it, you’re stuck in a zone of mediocrity and “meh”. Sure, you probably won’t be nervous self-conscious and potentially mortifies, but you won’t be admired, either. You’ll be boring.”
― Erik Kessels
TED Talks created a list of talks that discuss the benefits of failure. Though it may sound controversial at first, these insightful talks explore how we can learn from the setbacks in life, change our mindset around failure, and become more resilient towards negative outcomes.
When you learn to let go of the importance of getting things right all the time and adopt an open mindset that sees failure as a part of the process, you’ll see how much more flexibility in your life it creates.
Instead of waiting for perfection, you can start creating it one step at a time. Instead of worrying over nailing it from the first try, you can build up to it. Instead of doubting yourself, you can try and see what can you do better.
This way you allow yourself to gain momentum and find joy and excitement in the process without putting too much pressure on your shoulders.
