How I quit lying to myself being tested on a corporate lie detector
“If you earn the trust of people, do not deceive even a villain…”
— Hong Zicheng, a Chinese philosopher (1572–1620)
Imagine an average office person in a business competitive environment of a corporate machine full of bulldozer-bosses, their deputy-followers and, by far, the majority of 9/5 colleagues who have a fear of losing a job seat in the tail end world economy growth period.
Who would not fear?
The primal sense of Angst profoundly influences the way we work and live our life, that’s why we sometimes turn on a lie button to defend ourselves but finally self-deceit and ruin the future.
Here is the nail head why…
“Small pieces of lie ignite first in early childhood”, said a lie detector officer, by click-clacking and putting on all of those lie-detector sensors around my torso and blood pressure cuff on my right arm. This was a day I had to pass lie test at work or to leave my position for good in case I reject the test or fail it.
In looking back, I remember that I had been lying a lot to everyone ever since I was 6 yo. Living through all my school, university and carrier times I was not honest in some or another way.
Even personal relations or my ex-family life with an ex-spouse were not transparent, ending-up my current status of a tested person, which means I still was a deceptive behavior child until present days even if it was a white lie.
Sure, I had secrets of personal and corporate nature that I did not want to be revealed, if known, the lie test itself could be a piece of cake, because an employer aims to know only if he is deceived or not by asking work-related questions or if any of his employees have a side job or intention to quit unannounced.
“Take a look ahead and respond with yes or no”, it was another line from the testing officer.
Sitting there down in a chair of the testing room with my bladder full of pee, weak knees and sweat sticky palms, breathing out longer than breathing in, staying focused on the side of my mindset where the invisible Great Wall of China bordered my secrets on the brink of panic attack, I suddenly realized the destruction and critically emotional pain of how I could allow letting a lie ever come into my personal life first.
This corporate lie test is nothing to do with. I know that the things I did wrong in life were on purpose to help others or support close people to just look a good guy in the society but not being a solid guy inside.
“D’you take drugs?” — The question was predictable since it influences the image of the employer and the work process itself.
I did. Yes, I could not deny I had gotten an occasional experience of a soft stuff but rephrasing the famous quote — a drug is as drug does I found that modern life and technologies make me exposed and I had been living on autopilot by absorbing the “drugs” of bar-clubbing, eating unhealthy, scrolling socials, watching music channels, brand chase shopping most of my free time. I found myself addicted to such drugs.
“It was the last question” — the lie test was accomplished by the officer.
Skipping all illegal grounds of it but welcomed pass-the-test nods from co-workers and employer, omitting the details of the lie test procedure implemented by an employer to defend its business, I asked my consciousness, whether I ever keep lying to myself, not to anyone else?
I did pass the test though I didn’t pass my life test yet since the lie test made me internalized one lesson that whenever I lie to anyone I lie to myself also.
“Put everything in order” — more than three years spent to turn my life 180-degree direction, although I’m still in the grind and hustle progress for improving my personal life, creating change, caring for legacy, I noticed first below:
- My social life has become a different, better circle, once I stop deceiving;
- I thank God, the World, and the Universe in the morning and before sleep;
- I started searching for a clue by listening/reading books, found it a pleasure since all wisdom of life was known long before treasured in books by people who lived earlier.
- I took and keep searching for mentor classes to improve my life;
- After a certain time of discipline, I‘m sure we all need work out (once I challenged myself by doing the parachute jump);
- I have transformed my attitude to life from consumer to “game changer”;
- I have got a three-word positive affirmation when things come off the wrong way and there is an emotional and physical low point to repeat all three, I repeat one positive word anyway or smile;
Finally, I change my outlook on life and after passing the lie test I decided to quit my corporate job to find out what is my destiny then.
Cheers!
