How Introverts Show They Care

Because we really do

N. Y. Adams 🖋️
Live Your Life On Purpose
3 min readJul 14, 2020

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If you have an introverted friend, you may at times question your friendship and if they really care. Well, I am that introvert, and I want to tell you: we do care!

Everyone has their own love language and ways of showing they care for others. Sometimes the signs are flashing in big, bold colors, making it obvious, while other times, it may not be so apparent.

For us introverts, we tend to be the latter. Just because we frequently distance ourselves from friendships once in a while doesn’t mean we care. It just means we like to show it differently and express our gratitude or love in a different, more subtle way.

So how do introverts show that they care?

As introverts, we may be the quiet ones, but we’re also the kind of people who hold the values of friendship extremely close. We pay attention to the little details about you, and we don’t forget them. Whether we want to go out or not (and I’ll be the first to admit that often I don’t!), we’re the kind of people who will show up for you when you need us the most.

We’re the ones who may take some time to open up, but eventually will to someone who we genuinely trust and care about. Our way of showing love and caring within friendships may not be tons of hugging or constant verbal confirmations, but it does revolve around trust, emotions, and little actions that collectively add up.

I’ve been known to order flowers or little gift baskets to friend’s houses — just because. These are tokens of affection that show I care without any personal interaction, which I often find draining no matter how much I care about the other person.

Signs your introverted friend cares about you

  • If your introverted friend goes outside of their comfort zone for you, they care about you. If you had to beg them to go to a party or some other social event, and they eventually say yes, just know that they are doing it for you and putting your happiness first in those situations. Despite what society has cultivated, introverts love to see their friends happy, and if they can help foster that happiness, they will.
  • When an introvert deems a friendship as genuine, they will begin allowing the other person into their lives little by little. They will start to open up and share more intimate details about themselves with you.
  • If someone is a proclaimed introvert who is always hyper, laughing, and having fun around you, then that means that they trust you and don’t have to worry about being judged. Remember, just because we may not talk much overall doesn’t mean we are boring. Many introverts dislike group settings but are great fun and really let their personalities show in one-on-one situations.
  • They are willing to try new things and take your extroverted advice, even if it means stepping out of their safe bubble. For instance, if you convince your introverted friend to do something they wouldn’t normally do because you’re sure it will benefit them (join a professional networking group or go on that speed date perhaps?), that means they care about your opinion and trust your advice enough to try it out.

Conclusion

No, we may not respond to text messages right away, but that doesn’t mean we’re trying to hurt you. I must confess, I often take days — and in some cases even months — to respond to a message. But you’re never far from my thoughts, so please bear with me and my fellow introverts.

When we opt out of dinner parties and fun gatherings, that doesn’t mean we don’t care about you. We sometimes just don’t have the energy to socialize. Me, along with 50.7% of the introverted population, according to the Myers-Briggs organization, really enjoy our own company and tend to not fall into the Hallmark mold of showing affection.

Introverts like me still care, quite a lot, in fact. And even if we’re not very good at wearing our hearts on our sleeves, look a tad harder, because I promise we’re not as cold as we may seem.

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N. Y. Adams 🖋️
Live Your Life On Purpose

Nicole Y. Adams is a freelance commercial German/English marketing and PR translator and editor based in Brisbane, Australia. 🌴☕ www.nyacommunications.com