How Should You Feel When You Finish Your Degree?
A little bit of everything, probably
I took a deep breath. After a full day of pouring into this assignment, scouring my notes, and punching numbers into my calculator, I was finished. I double (maybe triple) checked my work for errors, and then finally felt satisfied with my answers. I opened the university portal, found the course page, and scrolled down to the assignment submission button.
Click.
That was it. That was the very last assignment of my entire undergraduate degree. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to feel in that moment. Elated? Exhausted? Expectant?
Checking Off the Boxes
I’ve spent the last 5 years of my life being stupendously busy. As an engineering student, I have attended thousands of hours of lectures, labs, and tutorials. I spent thousands of hours writing notes, solving problems, and polishing design documents. I wrote dozens of midterms and exams. After completing each and every task, I had the satisfaction of ticking off the box next to it in my virtual to-do list.
I am a task-oriented person to a fault. I love getting things done. I love my to-do lists. I love checking off boxes. Yet, now that I have finally checked off all the boxes of my undergraduate degree, I realize now more than ever that checking off my to-do list items was only a minor part of my learning experience in university.
The work ethic was necessary for getting my courses done, but the moments that helped me to grow as a person could not be boiled down to a list of tasks. The moments in between were the ones that made me who I am today.
Remembering the Moments: Big & Small
Since handing in my last assignment, I’ve experienced many flashbacks of moments I’ve had over the last 5 years. Some are inconsequential — like sitting with my friend in the library before a midterm while we quizzed each other and compared cheat sheets. Others were more significant — like when my boyfriend proposed to me in the dead of winter and married me on a warm August day later that year.
Many memories have flooded into my mind over the last few days. Some I cringe over, others leave a lovely impression on my heart.
I remember the anxiety I felt in my first semester of school when I convinced myself that I didn’t belong in my program. I remember the amazing sense of accomplishment I had when I got the call sealing my internship position at my dream company.
I remember the emptiness I felt when eating lunch alone on campus for most of my first year. I remember the anticipation I had before my first date with my now husband. I remember the butterflies in my stomach when he held my hand for the first time.
The Sum of the Moments
All of these moments, on their own, did not shape me in noticeable ways. Yet, in retrospect, I can now see how absolutely essential they were in forming who I am today. Yes, I learned a lot about engineering over the course of my degree. But as I look back at who I was 5 years ago and compare that girl with the woman I am today, I see that I learned far more in the moments in between classes. The ones that I couldn’t put on my to-do list.
In the busyness of life, it’s easy to lose track of the moments that make us. While critical to work hard at whatever is in front of you, it is arguably as important to make room for moments of quiet, joy, heartbreak, and reflection. Those are the ones that will be stamped on you for the rest of your life. Take a moment and appreciate them.
Now, I can say that I have ticked off the very last box on my undergraduate to-do list. I sighed heavily as soon as I clicked “Submit”. When tears welled up in my eyes a few moments later, I wasn’t thinking about my to-do list. I was thinking of all the moments that comprised my degree. The moments of frustration and pain, as well as the moments of excitement and anticipation. Those are the moments I remembered. Those are the moments I will cherish.
