How To Be The Leader Of Your Own Life
It boils down to three simple responsibilities
In nearly all realms of our life, we are constantly exposed to different types of people who offer aid, guidance, explanations, motivation, and structure. These are our leaders. When we’re younger the leaders are our parents and teachers. It then becomes our professors and bosses, and along the way, politicians and religious figures also take on the leadership mantle.
But these people will come and go, some will be effective and successful, and others will prove to be soul-crushing. So, it is up to us to become the leader of our own life.
I realized I was leading my own life when I spontaneously decided to move to Portugal. I came here on a 10 day holiday and decided to stay and work at my friend's bar. I didn’t have to ask someone if it was a good idea or search for approval. I was in the mindset that I had nothing to lose and everything to gain, and no matter what, I would make this year abroad as memorable and enjoyable as possible.
So what does it mean to lead your own life? Well, from an Organizational Psychology stand-point, its boils down to three main responsibilities:
- A positive attitude
- Adaptability to disagreeable environment
- Effective decision-making
You may have a different perspective on what it means to be a leader, but I’m going to briefly explore why these three key responsibilities are vital in becoming the leader of your own life.
A Positive Attitude
To move to Portugal, I didn’t need to be certain it would work-out, I just had to be sure that I was approaching the decision from a place of hope and positivity. This move was for me, to benefit myself and so far, it seems to be working out pretty well.
A positive attitude radiates inspiration to yourself and the people around you. Having an unshakable self-belief and “go-getter” attitude is arguably the hardest part to achieve when completing a challenging task.
It’s important to acknowledge that positivity is rooted in our ability to be confident in ourselves. confident in your abilities. Ultimately, our self-confidence stems from being aware of all we have achieved and knowing how we can accomplish tasks in the future.
For me, it was knowing that my move to the Netherlands for my studies when I was 18 turned out to be successful, and with the right people around me and a positive mindset, I knew that this new move could also be a success.
Positivity doesn’t mean you present a smile and an upbeat persona wherever you go. You need to cultivate a strong sense of balance and be accepting of obstacles and setbacks.
Problems will always occur and things will get in our way, but it’s about how your approach these issues that will determine the effectiveness of your leadership skills.
An issue needs to be approached realistically, commitment to one path or method is futile and so you must be prepared, and willing, to make changes to overcome the problem. And this leads us to the second responsibility…
Adaptability
During a stressful situation, giving in to the pressure of what’s around you isn’t going to help you to succeed. It will only lead to feelings of worriment and anxiety. It’s okay to fail, but it isn’t okay to not try.
If something in your life isn’t going your way, don’t just hide from the problem or avoid it until it fixes itself, take control of the situation, and acknowledge the other pathways and routes you can take.
Leadership isn’t an innate or instinctive quality like it was once believed to be, so a part of your adaptability should be your willingness to learn. Learn from the mistakes of yourself and others and use this knowledge to become a better leader.
Decision-Making
Finally, good leaders are capable of decision-makers. Every day we make decisions, some are more impactful than others and some require a lot of time and energy to digest and develop. The consequence of a wrong decision is enough to drive someone into a state of anxiety and fear.
So how do we take control and lead our life’s decisions? The big ones, the best recommendation is to pretend you are advising a friend. Discuss with yourself (or an actual friend) the pros and cons of your decision, the different routes you can take, and hopefully, in the end, this will lead to an identifiable path. But, if this isn’t the case, you might just have to decide anyways and use that positive attitude and adaptability to adjust to your new environment.
A lot of research out there said to gather as much information as possible. I, however, disagree with this advice to an extent. Of course, the information will help to make an informed decision, but too much information can lead to procrastination, confusion, and feeling overwhelmed.
Decision making can lead to a lot of prejudice and bias. Acknowledge these innermost feelings and appreciate the impact they are having on your way of thinking. It is then up to you to either act on these thoughts or put them aside and approach the decision from a more neutral standpoint.
The Tool-Kit
All this knowledge is great, but how do we incorporate that into practice? Start with the little things. If there is something you’ve been wanting to do or to try for the first time, work-out what's stopping you.
If you have the resources, or a way to attain the resources, and a positive mind-set, are you able to give it a go? If you’re worried the worst consequences will happen, can you think of ways to adapt? After making a pro/cons list, can you finally make the decision to try?
At the end of the day, we are in charge of our own destiny. So take control and be the best leader you can imagine. Help those around you and more importantly, help and take care of yourself.
Thanks for reading x
References:
Reed, B. N., Klutts, A. M., & Mattingly, T. J. (2019). A Systematic Review of Leadership Definitions, Competencies, and Assessment Methods in Pharmacy Education. American Journal of Pharmaceutical Education.
Thompson, M. (2013). Core Leadership Theories. Retrieved from Mind Tools: www.mindtools.com/community/pages/article/leadership-theories.php
Thompson, M. (2016). How Good Are Your Leadership Skills? Retrieved from Mind Tools: https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newLDR_50.htm
Vaugn-Furlow, B. (2017). Develop Decision-Making Skills. Clarion-Ledger.
