How to Create a Healthy Relationship with Your Smartphone
I remember the day I got my first smartphone. As a 15-year-old, who looked to others for acceptance, this was not only the thing to possess, it was also a way to stay connected.
The way it looked, the way it felt was something different than my previous “old school” phones. It could do so much more. I downloaded all the apps I found enjoyable, and in retrospection, the amount of time I spent on my phone increased drastically.
When the first smartphones became available for most people, it seemed only beneficial, with opportunities we hadn’t seen the likes of.
Today, the opportunities are unimaginable. We spend more time on our phones, which has become the standard way of living. You can’t go far without seeing the majority of people on their phones.
We’ve realized in recent years the negative effects smartphones can have. They distract us, steal time from meaningful things, and depress us.
I’m not as psyched about my phone as to when I was fifteen. It can feel more troublesome than benefitting.
What I noticed myself is that spending too much time on my phone affects my mood negatively. And, I could get more done if I didn’t scroll Instagram for the tenth time in the last 30 minutes.
The awareness of my own negative experience and the research concerning phone-use is a double-edged sword.
Yes, I spend less actual time on my phone, but when I do use it I feel guilty because I know I shouldn’t. Sometimes, I can just look at my phone lying on the table and I get a negative association. I want it gone, not distracting me, but after all, it’s just a rectangular object.
Thinking that spending time on our phones is a negative thing only makes the relationship worse.
Smartphones are not all bad. They make things easier, and they do indeed provide opportunities. Too much time spent on it, however, steals away from life.
So the question becomes how do we create a healthy relationship with our phone?
Some suggestions:
These are some suggestions that have helped me create a healthier relationship with my phone.
- Schedule time for social media, entertainment, and distraction.
This is something Cal Newport writes about in his book Deep Work. In order to spend the time we’re offline optimally, he suggests that we schedule our time online and on our phones. This does two things: It allows for concentration between scheduled distraction and trains your brain to stay concentrated on one thing at the time.
- Leaving my phone in a special place.
This allows for less negative association. If I always carry my phone with me or have it in front of me at my desk, I can feel hatred towards it. I feel distracted by its mere presence (studies have shown that we glance at our phones, even if they lie upside-down in front of us).
By having a designated place to keep your phone, it frees up mental resources for you to direct elsewhere. It won’t interrupt your attention, and you can be at peace by knowing exactly where it is.
- Turn airplane mode on to avoid distractions.
How often are we interrupted by notifications from our phones? If it lights up or plays a tune, we are like crack-addicts launching for our hit.
Keeping it in airplane mode does two huge things, at least for me: I know there is no notifications appearing on my phone, so I can leave it alone more easily. If I check my phone for the time or turn off an alarm, nothing will distract me when I do so.
- Allow yourself to enjoy it at your scheduled time.
As I’ve mentioned, a smartphone is in itself not bad (neither good or bad). What makes it complicate our lives is its distractive and addictive powers and our negative association with it.
Allow yourself to enjoy phone-time when scheduled. Check social, browse the internet, look at memes, whatever.
It’s a tool and entertainment device. Let it bring something positive to your life and minimize negative aspects. Create a healthy relationship.
Creating a healthy relationship with your phone frees up mental resources, allows for more deep work, fewer distractions, and more time on what is meaningful.
Far too many spend hours and hours on their phones, never getting anything done.
Get things done. Achieve your goals. Spend time on meaningful things with meaningful people. Don’t let a rectangular piece of technology stop you.
