How To Win The Battle Within
“There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do, and mostly, live.”-Dalai Lama
It is too easy to live in our minds. To fall into the trap of imagining worst-case scenarios and inventing narratives that adhere to our own agendas.
For a long time, I lived in my head. I would conjure up all types of images of being wronged and create superhero moments. Fantasizing about the moment I would thwart the plans of the evil villain. Confronting and punching out the big bad bully.
I focused on the wrong things. Creating battles that didn’t exist. As a result, I made my mind a minefield, trying to dodge situations and circumstances that could implode. It was toxic and I ended up feeling hopeless and desperate to escape.
Creating an alternate reality, a fantasy world is a way of coping. A way of escaping the disappointments and abuse heaped upon us by the world and others.
We can not control the behavior of others. So, we can envision all the scenarios we want but so much is out of our control.
Instead of focusing on the environment around me and what others were doing, I started to focus on what I could control. The only person that I can control is me.
Overcome Fear And Decide
We manifest anger out of fear. Fear of taking responsibility for our own lives, giving away our power to outside sources.
We create our own environment. I learned that I have a choice. I choose what I am exposed to. I choose what I allow into my world. These choices, these decisions are what shape my life.
“It can feel scary to make a big decision knowing that the future is uncertain, but we can’t panic and obsess our way to clarity. Sometimes we simply need to get out of our head and give our heart some space to find the answer.”-Lori Deschene
Keep Emotions In Check
When we are young we let our emotions rule us. It’s one of those life lessons that’s hard to avoid. As a young woman, I let feelings and emotions pilot my life.
I found myself frustrated and angry. I was simply unhappy. I clung to bitterness, holding onto every slight, looking for battles. I was so negative that it was impossible for me to let in any ray of joy or happiness.
I had been wallowing in this misery for so long that I couldn’t see what was happening. I was so preconditioned to this type of mindset and living. I was so focused on feeling like the world was against me that I didn’t realize that I was creating my world.
I was completely unaware of my part in creating such a life. The biggest obstacle that was preventing me from succeeding was me. I wasn’t just a part of the problem; I was the problem.
“You can’t stop negative thoughts from popping into your head, but you can choose to stop letting them control you and your life.”- Lori Deschene
Change The Narrative
So how do you change the course of your life? The narrative is still in your hands, just rewrite the story.
Instead of believing the world is against you and there is some battle to be won believe the world is on your side. People are rooting for you to win. Write a new story where it’s not a fight to the finish line but a journey, a team effort and you’re flanked with the people and tools you need.
Envision what you want your life to look like. Create a plan to make those visions a reality. Then execute that plan. You are the author of your story, pen a happy ending.
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