I Lost A Friend Last Night. This Is How I Am Saying Goodbye.
He lost a 3-year battle with liver cancer, but help me find some resolve I had forgotten I possessed
I lost a friend last night. He lost a 3-year battle with liver cancer.
He was never at a loss for words, and as a guy who had accomplished a whole lot in only 44-years on the planet, the entire city is not at a loss for words to describe the impact he had in real time, and what will become of the temporary hole in the universe where his physical presence once was.
Many will keep his presence in their minds and hearts, some for every day they have left in their own lives. But anyone who genuinely believes in the words, ‘Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,’ they know the vessels we call our bodies are meant to be temporary.
We can debate what becomes of the cargo inside the vessel later.
I wish that I could say I was a closer friend. It was not for lack of trying, but my career path hasn’t been as stellar as his for me to keep pace professionally, and family situation squashed any chance on my end to sneak away personally.
Besides, as far as my fondest interaction and memory, I was sworn to eternal secrecy. And I intend to keep that promise.
Today’s lesson is not about regrets, but lack of. I’m 44-years-old as well, and lately, have been faced with more setbacks than a person could possibly take on in a lifetime . . .
. . . and that’s not true. Because I have done plenty of phenomenal things in my 44-years on the planet. I’ve just had them tucked away behind the recent failures so the effect is not in plain sight. I can’t come close to matching some of the highs my friend got to experience, but my highs are pretty great on their own.
So today’s lesson is about running your own race, being your own boss, doing whatever you choose to be your own ‘it’ your own way. We, humans, have the tendency to take deep reflections into our own mortality when we lose friends, loved ones, and famous people But we make the mistake by comparing our accomplishments (or lack of) with theirs and expecting a ratio where the length of the two have real relevance.
They don’t.
They did great things. You did great things. Today is helping me to remember that while I’ve been recently placing boxes filled with a bad break at the front of the storage space, all the way to the back walls are plenty of boxes filled with good breaks.
A few reminders of a bad recent fall does not negate the great race ran years ago and does not mean more great races cannot be run in the very near future.
I lost a friend last night, and this is the best way I know to say goodbye.
The best way to honor our friendship and his life of service, in general, is to keep living and keep serving. In my own way. At my own pace.
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J Cleveland Payne is a writer that wishes he was more famous.
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