I Proposed to My Already-Fiancé
I guess you’d call it a manposal.
Okay, so I didn’t make the first move. The ring was already on my finger while I mirrored the question that was asked to me just a month earlier. Compared to those incredible women who bravely pull the trigger first, my manposal wasn’t nearly as daring, risky or progressive.
But after we got engaged, I couldn’t help but think: why shouldn’t he have his own perfect moment and something that sparkles?
So, I took a page out of Lindsey Vonn’s book and planned a manposal.
It’s fascinating really. Unlike the rest of the relationship, proposals are viewed as a one-way street. Either, a.) He will propose to me. Or, the much more unlikely answer, b.) I will propose to him.
Making the decision to get married implies that you are merging two lives into one. Your struggles are his struggles. His pain is your pain. Why should the proposal be handled any differently?
I am here to help change the script — I’m campaigning for the proposee to consider planning a proposal.
My manposal wasn’t anything fancy. It wasn’t overly romantic or jaw-dropping. It was simple, silly and smothered in a whole lot of cheese. But I couldn’t have imagined it any other way.
Over the past year, A (my hubby-to-be), has been dreaming about a new pursuit. One that would offer adventure, equip him with a new skill set and give him more control. Knowing his A++ personality and love of travel, I wasn’t all that surprised to learn that his sights were set high on getting his pilot’s license.
Does this dream scare me? Hell yes.
Do I love the idea of my fiancé spending thousands of dollars and hours to actualize this dream? Not really.
Will I put my fears aside and support him in going after it? Absolutely.
So, I booked a discovery flight. For those unfamiliar, a discovery flight gives you the opportunity to fly a plane with a certified instructor. And to confirm, this isn’t one of those gimmicky activities that award you a pair of gold wings at the end of the flight.
You fly the plane.
And, if you’re really lucky, they’ll even let your fiancée sit in the back while you learn what the heck you’re doing mid-air… Anywho.
On the morning of the flight, I jumped from the bed, opened the curtains and didn’t see a cloud in the sky. Phew, check!
Try as I might, I’m a terrible liar. So, when I tried to come up with a good excuse for 8 am plans on a Saturday, all I could concoct was “we’ve got something planned…” Despite the wildly humdrum information he was given, he got in the car with me that morning without any questions asked.
Because I couldn’t give up on the perfect opportunity to deliver a clue, 5 minutes before our arrival I pulled a card of my purse and gave it to him. He read aloud,
“Let your dreams soar.”
It didn’t take much detective work for him to know what was coming next, but that didn’t seem to hinder the excitement that I saw all over his face.
The next few steps were a blur. I know we pulled into the aviation center, were suited up with headsets and went through the safety briefing (a little too quickly if you ask me).
But when he was laying on the gas and pulling back on the steering wheel, that’s when things came back into focus. I was terrified. I couldn’t bring myself to look out the window for the first half of the flight. But, my inner romantic figured that if something happened, we’d Romeo and Juliet it and that surprisingly helped to calm my nerves.
After secretly thanking the powers that be for making it back on the ground in one piece, I had to wait in front of the small prop plane that just served as our sky carriage.
Out from my backpack I pulled two pilot hats and a grey box then nervously said:
Whether you want to be a pilot, start your own firm, or heck even open a frozen yogurt shop, I’ll always support your dreams and do what I can do to help you reach them (including being your flight-bound guinea pig).
Will you take me as your co-pilot?
As with traditional proposals, there needs to be something to seal the deal with. So, I gave him the grey box that housed the watch he had been pining after for quite some time. It was a little somethin’ that has some serious shine, reminds him of my love and commitment and will be worn on the day we both say ‘I do.’
Knowing that he can look down at his wrist and see my love reflecting back at him brings me a different level of joy.
To celebrate his big day, we ended up having a couple of beers at Twin Peaks. And, if you don’t know what this fine establishment is, please head on over to Google. I promise that it will wash any last cheese out of your mouth after reading this.
Good on you if you decide to courageously pull the metaphorical engagement trigger, you are my hero! But for the rest of us, proposing to your significant other may just not be your forte.
If you decide to wait until you hear that magical “will you marry me?” question, consider giving your person this moment in return. Find your love’s ‘discovery flight’ and I guarantee you that he will cherish his manposal just as much as you cherish your proposal.
